- Are you ready to have this baby?
- How is the move going?
Them: Are you ready to have this baby?
Me: (Smiling very sweetly) No.
And
Them: How is the move going?
Me: Well, we found mice. In the kitchen. So, the unpacking is on pause.
I often wonder if I should just give a general, non-committal kind of answer. A simple, "fine" or "okay" would placate most people. But see, I decided long ago that when someone asked me a question I would give them an honest answer.
Which has led to me saying some odd things.
Lots of people have been asking me recently, "How are you feeling?" It's a pretty standard, ask-the-pregnant-lady kind of question. Sometimes I say "tired". Other times I say I'm "okay". My current favorite (and most accurate) response is "round" as in "I'm feeling round". No one expects me to say this, which might be partially why I continue to use it. But really, I picked that word the first time because it was the most accurate description of how I was feeling.
And I'm not ready for the baby to come. Even though she could make her debut any day after Wednesday, I'd like her to stay in a while longer. With the current state of our house, she's much safer in than she is out. Also, I wonder if I should just say the move is "coming" or some other mildly evasive response. Does anyone besides us really care that we found mice? (The answer, as far as I can tell, is that some people don't care, but some people do.) And even if they do care, do they want to hear the saga while standing in the hallway at church?
I wonder, do other people give such bizarrely honest answers? Do they expect the standard "fine" when asking how someone is doing? Do people really want to know how those around them are feeling or what they're thinking?
Know this: if I ever ask you how you're doing, I'm not just asking to be polite, I really want to know.
3 comments:
I like knowing some people are honest with me. I know I haven't always been honest with others when it comes to others asking how I'm doing since I know they don't really want to hear it ALL and don't even want to know part. Unfortunately I've multiplied my own problems sometimes by not saying anything even to those who care. It's one way in which almost all people, even the most honest ones, aren't fully honest and I'm not sure what I think of it. Seriously, do we want EVERYONE knowing everything about us? I know if I say it's been a long day and then people actually push farther then the "You really don't want to hear the whole story" usually pushes people away, but what if it didn't? When is it appropriate to share and when should we be silent? And if we say fine when we aren't are we still being honest in all our dealings? Or does that not count?
Anyway, I could go on forever but I hope you are getting everything taken care of and are almost ready for that baby to come. She's going to come sooner than later at this point ;)
Miss you!
I'm an honesty girl. Generic answers bother me, especially if I find out later that someone really needed my help and didn't ask or didn't tell me the truth. Yep, that's almost pet peeve numero uno.
I hope you get the mouse thing worked out. It does make you sqeemish. I've had a critter or two in one of our houses. bleh.
When I was in the MTC I received a folder full of information: about the Mission I was going to, about the MTC, and about the country I would be living in for the next two years. You see, the Church prepares information on the country you are assigned to help you prepare. I think I was the only one in my district that read what the US would be like (I thought it was interesting to see what outsiders think about us).
Anyway, it said something along the lines of, "Americans are very friend people and will often ask you how you are doing. A good response is 'fine.' Americans do not really what to know how you are doing."
Also, Boyd K. Packer told missionaries that when they write home, not to tell our folks about every little cold or blister (because mothers worry so), but to focus on the positive aspects of our experiences.
That being said, I adjust my response depending on who's asking. If a classmate asks how I am, it's always "fine;" but if a member of the Bishopbric asks, it'll probably be a bit more accurate "busy," or "good."
Saying "fine" is hardly ever inaccurate (I'm sure you can name times in your life that were more difficult and/or people you know that are worse off), so don't feel like it's being dishonest, just polite and succinct (unlike this response)
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