Tempers are running short, patience is running thin, stubborn refusal to do chores and schoolwork has been abundant. Cooper was up until 11 one night and 10 the next finishing the schoolwork that's only supposed to take two hours. Peter discovered today that he's not been checking the right places online for his assignments and he's missed several. Sophie switches between loving what we're doing for school and telling me how awful and stupid the work is. Phoebe is pretty self-sufficient, but is really missing her friends.
I'm feeling four weeks of no rest or break. Four weeks of only leaving the house a handful of times. Four weeks of getting almost no exercise and very little sleep. Four weeks of being "on" all the time for my job. Four weeks of incredible stress and worry. Four weeks of kids fighting with each other and with me while I work so hard to be the peacemaker. I feel it as a crushing heaviness in my chest. I feel it as a tightening of my breathing, my asthma on alert.
Yesterday the word came down from the Governor that our kids won't be going back to school during this academic school year. We weren't surprised, but we were sad. This means no volleyball team or engineering team competition to Alabama for Peter. My kids all had really exceptional teachers this year and I'm sad they won't be able to benefit from being in their classrooms anymore.
So, as is my habit, I've been working hard to find the positives:
- I am thankful that we're all home.
- I'm thankful that we have food to eat.
- I'm thankful that Bryan can work from home.
- I'm thankful that Bryan has a job.
- I would prefer setting my kids' curriculum myself, but I'm thankful that I have the ability to teach what the teachers have set.
- I'm thankful that we have enough electronic devices for everyone to do school at the same time.
- I'm thankful that we have enough bandwidth for everyone to be online at the same time.
- I'm thankful that we established chore charts and daily expectations several years ago so the house keeps running.
- I'm thankful that today starts our four-day weekend Spring Break.
- I'm thankful that I've got fourteen years of experience as a stay-at-home parent so this isn't completely new territory for me.
- I'm thankful we are all still healthy.
- I'm thankful that we can sleep in instead of rushing to the bus every morning.
- I'm thankful for Bryan's mom for giving me a sewing machine when I graduated from BYU in 2004, even though I had absolutely no idea how to use it at the time.
- I'm thankful that I've learned to sew so I can make face masks for my family.
- I'm thankful for video calls to helps us feel connected to family and friends.
- I'm thankful that we have a vast home library.
- I'm thankful that we're in this house at this time and have more room than in any previous house.
- I'm thankful that Bryan and I both are good cooks.
- I'm thankful that we have more time to study scriptures as a family.
I'm thankful for the messages that came from Conference last weekend. The talks that spoke to my soul were from Bonnie H. Cordon, Quentin L. Cook, Dale G. Renlund, Neil L. Andersen, and especially Jeffery R. Holland. His talks always go right to my heart. The most profound quote for me came near the end:
We pray for those who have lost loved ones in this modern plague, as well as for those currently infected or at risk. We certainly pray for those who are giving such magnificent healthcare. When we have conquered it—and we will—may we be equally committed to freeing the world from the virus of hunger and freeing neighborhoods and nations from the virus of poverty. May we hope for schools where students are taught—not terrified they will be shot—and for the gift of personal dignity for every child of God, unmarred by any form of racial, ethnic, or religious prejudice.Undergirding all of this is our relentless hope for greater devotion to the two greatest of all commandments: to love God by keeping His counsel and to love our neighbors by showing kindness and compassion, patience and forgiveness. These two divine directives are still—and forever will be—the only real hope we have for giving our children a better world than the one they now know.
On Saturday night President Russell M. Nelson asked us to hold a worldwide fast today, Good Friday. He asked that we fast "that the present pandemic may be controlled, caregivers protected, the economy strengthened, and life normalized." We are adding our faith to that fast.
This week has been hard. But I have hope for better times ahead.
1 comment:
I’m sorry this time of isolation has been so hard for you. I am grateful that you have sources of hope and inspiration. Imagine how hard this must be for those who cannot lean on the Hope of Israel. I am convinced that this plague is Heavenly Father’s invitation to the world to reconsider their ways, to begin to harken to his Son. I hope many do. I fear for those who do not. We, of all people, need to stand in holy place. He is coming.
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