Happiness Is

I am an optimist. I always have been. My smile is so big that it has actually caused my gums to recede to the point that I might need gum grafts. (Gross, huh?) I'm a glass-half-full, sunny-side-up person.

But lately, I haven't been feeling it. I'm sure the much blogged-about exhaustion has played a key role in my general shift to the dark side. I've been grumpy, easy to anger, moody. I've had to make a conscious effort to not scowl.

Have you ever been doing something that goes against your nature? Maybe you're uber organized and you've been hiding undercover as slovenly. Or perhaps you love the quiet company of a good book but you've been forcing yourself to be a social butterfly. Going against your personality is draining.

On Thursday night as I knelt by my bed saying my prayers I had the distinct impression that I should pray to be my normal happy self. Now, I've been praying for a while that I would have the patience and strength I needed to keep up with the small people. And I've been praying that I would be able to choose to be happy. But it had never before occurred to me to pray to be myself.

At first I thought of Mosiah 3:19. Isn't the natural man an enemy to God? Yes, however, my being happy is more of a gift than part of the natural man.

And so I included that in my prayer.

Friday morning dawned and I felt surprisingly calm. To paraphrase something Bryan said, I was so tired I didn't have any fight left. And you know what? Most of Friday I was pretty happy. I laughed quicker than I have in a while. I didn't have the energy to do much more than sit in the boys' room and read to them, but it was pleasant having all three kids snuggled around me, listening to the Land of Oz.

Friday night was rough again, which resulted in Friday's post. (We still need to find a way to get everyone sleeping.) But the rest of the weekend was much more relaxed than we've had in a long time. There were still bouts of naughtiness, but my reaction to them was different.

I feel more like myself.

Have you ever gotten a prompting during a prayer to ask for something specific?