Peter has an intense sense of justice. He is outraged when he sees someone breaking a rule or doing something that he deems inappropriate. Sadly, this does not extend to himself. So I suppose that would make him a cop that thinks they're above the law.
Also, he's a bit of a vigilante. He thinks that he should dole out consequences. It doesn't seem to matter how many times we tell him this is not his responsibility, he still does it. In fact, he and I each got to chat with a vice principal at his school this week because of this feeling that he should police his classmates. The issue has been resolved, but it wasn't awesome.
Cooper, on the other hand, doesn't have the same sense of right and wrong. He simply wants what he wants, all the time. Often that means we have a screaming, hitting, naughty-word-hurling Cooper, using all the wrong means to get his way. Yesterday morning that resulted in him going to school sans coat. He chose to throw a major tantrum/screaming fit and not put on his jacket, so when it came time to go to school, he was left without one. I even gave him a chance to redeem himself, but he didn't take it. That meant that when we got to school he was hysterical at the prospect of being cold. It was chilly, but much warmer than it has been recently, so I didn't feel like he was in danger. I had to drop Peter off and park to pull Cooper out of the car. For the record, I stayed calm, frustrated, but calm.
The principal, who was welcoming kids to school as they got off the bus, came over to see if she could lend a hand. When Cooper realized someone else was present he calmed down. I walked him to the door and the vice principal (the same one who called about Peter) walked Cooper to his classroom. Both women were very sweet, but it is not an experience I'd like to repeat.
So while Cooper isn't really a robber (though he is my child that has pocketed toys from friends' houses only to sneakily show me his bounty later), he does have a backwards way of looking at what he should and should not be doing.
I hope that Cooper will outgrow this. Frankly, I hope Peter does too. I want him to maintain his strong moral compass, but I want him to start applying it to himself, and to stop enforcing the rules on everyone else.
1 comment:
Peter is almost eight. All of our children showed an increased sense of right and wrong about seven and a half. Except Isaac, who made the transition about seven. Peter has already crossed this threshold, but he is still new at processing information this way. As he matures in this capability, he should be learn to process more complex moral questions, such as his own role in another person's misbehavior.
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