The Safe Place

My hope was to knock out two or three blog posts tonight. I have a kitchen to clean, a massive pile of laundry to fold, and about seven teetering piles of papers on and around my desk that need my attention, items ranging from bills to pictures the kids have drawn. My plan for the night was to ignore the kitchen and laundry and focus on the blog, then work my way through the papers. I figured if I stayed focused I could fall into bed a little before midnight.

Earlier today Sophie started coughing, just a little at first, then more and more. By dinner she was really hacking. She had a warm bath and a lot of water, but by the time I was done with the bedtime routine, her coughing was even worse.

I had just opened my computer to write those planned posts when I heard Sophie start to do a cry/cough combination. I put down my computer, walked into her room, and leaned over her bed.

"Sophie, do you want some water?"

She looked at me but didn't answer.

Phoebe, from the other side of their small room, offered her diagnosis. "She wants to snuggle."

Hearing Phoebe echo my own suspicions, I scooped up the still coughing Sophie and walked back into my room. I closed the computer, laid down with her in my arms, and started humming I Am a Child of God. After several verses her breathing calmed and she fell asleep. Then I held her for another thirty minutes, more for my sake than for hers.

This is not the first time that holding my babies has taken priority over some other task. Those babies are getting bigger, so I worry that my time to hold them may be growing short. For now though, when they are sick or sad or scared, I am still their safe place.

I hope Sophie can sleep well tonight, but if she needs me again, I'll be here.