Eleven Homes

I spoke in Sacrament Meeting yesterday. It was my sixth talk in four years, which means I should be perfecting my talk-writing craft. It was a good talk, not my best, but definitely what I was prompted to give. And no one in this ward has heard me give a talk before, so they don't know about my skills. That's a boastful way of saying that my parents did a great job teaching me how to write and present talks, so now when I stand at the podium to speak, I appear to know what I'm doing.

Testimony

Imagine your perfect house. What does it look like? What does it feel like? If you’re like my five-year-old daughter, then it’s very fancy. If you’re like my husband, there would be no clutter at all. In fourteen and a half years of marriage, my husband and I have moved eleven times. So I’ve spent an inordinate amount of time imagining my perfect home. For our first apartment, we didn’t have much stuff to move, some books and clothes, dishes and towels, the normal newlywed paraphernalia. It all fit into our one-bedroom apartment, but my husband and I still discussed where each item should go. We curate each place we live. We’re determined to make each location feel like a home.

In his April 2008 General Conference talk, Elder Dallin H. Oaks said, “A testimony of the gospel is a personal witness borne to our souls by the Holy Ghost that certain facts of eternal significance are true and that we know them to be true… A testimony of the gospel is not a travelogue, a health log, or an expression of love for family members. It is not a sermon. President Kimball taught that the moment we begin preaching to others, our testimony is ended.”

In the October 2006 General Conference, President Dieter F. Uchtdorf, then Elder Uchtdorf, described a testimony as “a warm and familiar word in our religious expressions. It is tender and sweet… When we talk about testimony, we refer to feelings of our heart and mind rather than an accumulation of logical, sterile facts. It is a gift of the Spirit, a witness from the Holy Ghost that certain concepts are true.”

We didn’t have much to put on our walls, but we didn’t have a lot of wall that needed decorating. Much like our first apartment, a testimony starts small. It begins with the Holy Ghost witnessing to you of a truth. My earliest memory of my testimony was a firm knowledge that Heavenly Father loved me and sent me to a family that would love me and care for me. I knew those things because we sang them in the Primary songs “I Am a Child of God” and “Families Can Be Together Forever.” I felt happy when we sang them; I recognized the truths they taught.

My parents and teachers told me these things, but I had to gain my own testimony of their truthfulness. Elder Uchtdorf went on to say, “A testimony is a most precious possession because it is not acquired by logic or reason alone, it cannot be purchased with earthly possessions, and it cannot be given as a present or inherited from our ancestors. We cannot depend on the testimonies of other people. We need to know for ourselves.”

Why do we need a testimony?           

Elder Uchtdorf taught, “A testimony provides proper perspective, motivation, and a solid foundation on which to build a life of purpose and personal growth... A testimony motivates us to choose the right at all times and in all circumstances. It motivates us to draw nearer to God, allowing Him to draw nearer to us. Our personal testimony is a protective shield, and like an iron rod it is guiding us safely through darkness and confusion.”

The walls of a home offer protection and warmth. What we choose to put in our home can dictate how we feel when we’re there. Likewise, a testimony fortifies us and protects us, no matter our location.

            How do we receive that witness of the Spirit for ourselves?

            Remember the story of Lehi’s vision of the Tree of Life. Lehi gathered his family and told them about his dream of the iron rod and the tree that grew fruit that was desirous above all else. Nephi wanted to gain his own testimony of what his father taught.

First, he had the desire to know for himself. He had to want to gain a testimony of those things.

            Next he prayed and asked God. The answer he received is a beautiful and in-depth explanation of the vision which comprises chapters 11-14 of 1^st Nephi. At the end of his own vision, Nephi went back to his father’s tent and he found his older brothers, Laman and Lemuel, arguing about some of their father’s teachings. They told Nephi that they didn’t understand what their father had taught. Verse 8 says “And I said unto them: Have ye inquired of the Lord?” Then in verse 9 “And they said unto me: We have not; for the Lord maketh no such thing known unto us.”

            We must desire to know, as Nephi did, then we must ask.

Each of our moves has required research. While it was just the two of us, we had fewer space and location needs. But as our family has grown to include our four children, my criteria for each subsequent home has grown more stringent. When our oldest started school, my search grew even lengthier. We study as much as we can about each place, then we pray for confirmation that we are going in the right direction.

            Elder Uchtdorf taught, “Search the scriptures. Have questions; study them out; search in the scriptures for answers.”

First we desire to know. Then we ask. Then we study by searching the scriptures and the words of living prophets. Then, we ask again.

            At the end of Alma chapter 5, after preaching to his people the Nephites, Alma gave voice to a concern from the congregation: “Do ye not suppose that I know of these things myself? Behold, I testify unto you that I do know that these things whereof I have spoken are true. And how do ye suppose that I know of their surety? Behold, I say unto you they are made known unto me by the Holy Spirit of God. Behold, I have fasted and prayed many days that I might know these things of myself. And now I do know of myself that they are true; for the Lord God hath made them manifest unto me by his Holy Spirit; and this is the spirit of revelation which is in me.”

Did you hear what he did? He fasted and prayed many days.

            We desire, we ask, we seek for answers, we fast and pray, we study more, we ask again.

            Are you sensing a pattern?

            In the October 2014 General Conference, President Uchtdorf counseled, “Let us acknowledge that most often gaining a testimony is not a task of a minute, an hour, or a day. It is not once and done. The process of gathering spiritual light is the quest of a lifetime.” He goes on to say, “The more we incline our hearts and minds toward God, the more heavenly light distills upon our souls. And each time we willingly and earnestly seek that light, we indicate to God our readiness to receive more light. Gradually, things that before seemed hazy, dark, and remote become clear, bright, and familiar to us. By the same token, if we remove ourselves from the light of the gospel, our own light begins to dim—not in a day or a week but gradually over time—until we look back and can’t quite understand why we had ever believed the gospel was true. Our previous knowledge might even seem foolish to us because what once was so clear has again become blurred, hazy, and distant.”

Just as building a testimony takes time, allowing a testimony to slip away can happen so gradually, that you don’t even realize it’s gone until it is too late.

             Once we have moved in to a new house, unpacked, found a shelf for each toy and dish, we’re done, right? Unfortunately, that is not the case. Much of my time each and every day is spent doing laundry and dishes and cleaning messes left by creative and imaginative children that are more engaged in a world of make-believe than in putting away the piles of toys around them. The rest of my time is spent trying to get those same kids to clean up their own messes. It is a continual cycle, but I do it because a clean house helps us all think more clearly and it’s much more pleasant to live in.

            Creating a home and creating a testimony are not so different. They both take time, pondering, patience, study, and at least in my case, prayer. They are both a continual process of learning and changing and maintaining. Letting those testimony-building daily devotionals slide is like skipping your chores. It might not be noticeable after one day, or two, or maybe even a few weeks. But you will soon notice that something is missing.

            Elder Cecil O. Samuelson spoke about Testimonies in the October 2011 General Conference. He said, “A testimony is similar to a living organism that grows and develops when treated properly. It needs constant nourishment, care, and protection to thrive and prosper. Likewise, neglect or deviance from the pattern of living that a testimony clarifies can lead to its loss or diminishment…”

            In addition to continuing to study, fast, and pray, we must do at least one more thing to keep our testimonies strong. We must share them. My house looks, and feels, its best, when we’re having company over. I’ve considered inviting people over just so I’ll have to dust and vacuum. If you know that you’ll need to share your testimony, you will be more likely to maintain it.

Elder Samuelson advised, “teaching someone else what we know strengthens our own testimony as we build that of another. When you give someone money or food, you will have less. However, when you share your testimony, it strengthens and increases for both the bearer and the hearer.”

And Elder Oaks counseled, “We gain or strengthen a testimony by bearing it. Someone even suggested that some testimonies are better gained on the feet bearing them than on the knees praying for them… Our children should also hear us bear our testimonies frequently.”

I took to heart the suggestion made in Conference a few years ago to share my testimony in simple ways during my regular, daily conversations. I talk about going to church on Sunday. I mention how excited I am for General Conference. And a few months ago when I walked by a group of parents at my sons’ school and heard them speaking in a negative manner about the church, I walked over, stuck my hand out, and said, “Hi, I’m Margot, and I’m a Mormon. Some of the things you were saying weren’t correct, but I’d love to answer any questions you might have about my faith.” I was just as shocked as they were.

Elder Oaks went on to admonish, “As we testify of the truth we know, we should faithfully follow the caution to speak “in mildness and in meekness” (D&C 38:41). We should never be overbearing, shrill, or reviling. As the Apostle Paul taught, we should speak the truth in love.”

I’m a writer and love to read and learn, but when my second child was born I felt my brain begin to atrophy. After praying to know what I should do, I was prompted to start a blog. This was almost eight years ago, when blogging was still crazy popular. Now, I hate doing things that are popular, but I started a blog anyway. I wrote to keep my brain sharp. Blogging has fallen out of favor, but I still blog. In fact, I post something every weekday. Sometimes I share a picture of my kids or a funny thing they’ve said, sometimes I type up my random thoughts for the day. But often, I write about the Gospel. I listen closely to the promptings of the Spirit to know what I need to post each day. I share talks that the kids and I give in church, I write about General Conference and studying my scriptures. I write my testimony.

I know that Heavenly Father loves me. I know that his Son Jesus Christ lived and died so that I might have the chance to repent of the mistakes I’ve made and return to live with Heavenly Father. I know that President Monson is a living prophet and that he leads the church today. I know that the Priesthood is the power of God on the earth. I know that the Book of Mormon is the word of God and that Joseph Smith translated it and restored the church to the earth. I know that Heavenly Father sees our potential and, if we will trust in him, he will lead us to the places and people that will help us to grow. I know that I need the eternal truths taught at the Temple. I know that the Holy Ghost will speak to us if we will only listen.

Like my dream of a perfect home (mine would be full of books, a well-tuned piano, and have a red door) a testimony needs to grow and change. I do not live in that home yet, but I like to imagine it. My testimony is not yet what it could be, but I keep working toward my ideal.

Brothers and sisters, my home is not a showroom. It is not fancy, but it is safe and it is a place where the Holy Ghost can abide. Your testimony does not need to be fancy either. Like a home, it should have a strong foundation, warmth, and truth. And as you build and strengthen your testimony, you will have the desire to share it.

I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.