Boys and Girls

Sometimes I'm a little surprised that I spend my days with two little girls. Once upon a time my days were full of the cars and blocks and train tracks of their older brothers. The girls sometimes play with those things too, but more often it's dolls and dishes and dress-up.  

When the boys were small I was convinced I would always be a mom of only boys. Now I can't imagine life without these sweet girls.

They teach me different things and each bring their own personality to our family. I am not the mother I was when I first started. With each child that has joined us I have grown and changed.

Just to compare, here's a five-year-old picture of the boys. I was pregnant with Phoebe and had worked in the garden with the boys by my side. The girls might have ended up just as messy, but, knowing how different they are from their brothers, probably not.

I am so thankful for my boys and my girls.

Oh What a Beautiful Morning

What do you do when you finally have a beautiful day?

You go on a walk to the park!

Calming the Chaos

We went to the library yesterday. While I helped kids look for call numbers and kept track of how many books each child had gathered, I realized something.

No one was running away.

No one was yelling.

No one was hiding.

No one was poking/hitting/pestering anyone else.

A few years ago every trip anywhere included one or more of the actions I listed above. Every errand required great amounts of patience and energy from me. Some errands still require great amounts of patience and energy, but now I'm much more adept at keeping the chaos reigned in, or at least sensing when it's about to break free so I can orchestrate a quick exit.

I know I can't take all the credit for our peaceful library trip. The kids are the ones that did all the running away in years past and they've thankfully given that up for the most part. It helps that the library has row upon row of books to keep them occupied, but trips to other locations are getting easier as well. Are they maturing? Perhaps. Maybe we're all maturing.

Whatever the reason, it's a lovely feeling to return from a trip to the library and not be totally crazy with stress over the wild and loud shenanigans of your offspring. I believe in celebrating the wins, both large and small. And I'm counting today as a win.

A First Love Letter

We sometimes use the "Doesn't Go Here Basket" method of cleaning. Are you familiar with that technique? It involves me gathering everything that is not put away and sticking it in a basket. Then I sit down and divide everything by which room it belongs in and deliver it to its home.

At least, that's the idea.

I'm great at the gathering part. It's the sorting step that I need to work on. I've had a few baskets sitting in my living room, waiting for my attention, for about two months. I finally sat down after church yesterday and decided to rediscover what I'd been keeping prisoner by my cleaning practices.

I found some real treasures. The first thing to be unearthed? Peter's glasses! They've been missing for so long we were on the verge of replacing them. But now we don't need to!

I also found a sealed envelope with no address. I opened it and discovered a picture and letter that Cooper had written to his Great Grandma Bonnie. It is my hope to mail it to her, but since I'm pretty lousy at mailing stuff, I thought it would be a good idea to post it here as well. After all, my Grandma is one of my most faithful blog readers.

The first page is a drawing of Cooper and Grandma Bonnie. The text begins "Dear Grandma"

The rest of the message follows on the other side of the page. It reads, "Bonnie I Love you so much. Love Cooper"

We love you Grandma!

Sometimes We Dance

Thank You for the Music

For many years and many moves I've hauled my impressive sheet music collection. I've told myself that I needed to organize everything and make my music more easily accessible. But things like laundry (pesky need for clean clothes) and cooking (pesky need for sustenance) and spending time with my children (not pesky at all, thank you very much) have taken precedence over my desire to sort through my notebooks.

While at Costco last week, I walked down the office supply aisle and made a discovery: you can buy sheet protectors in bulk! I eyed the label, compared the price at Amazon, then dropped the box in my cart.

Since that day a whole corner of my living room has been overtaken by sheet music. I've found songs I thought I'd lost. I've found songs that I don't even remember owning in the first place. I've done lots of sorting and singing and it's actually been fun. And now I've used up that entire box of sheet protectors and I need to go back to Costco next week to get another one.

Seeing those tidy notebooks full of plastic-sheet-protected music makes my brain happy.

Fairy Wings

Phoebe got her dance recital costume last week. She's thrilled with it and has been doing all kinds of ballet dips and twirls and flourishes ever since. Here's a peak at our fairy ballerina.

When We're Helping We're Happy

After yesterday's whiny post, I decided I wouldn't let something like homework and chores stand in my way. When we picked up the boys from the bus, we drove through the drizzly weather to the library. We stocked up on books and then came home to finally get to those pesky responsibilities.

Because we were close to the dinner hour, we needed to accomplish our tasks quickly. I told the kids that they needed to be done with their zones by the time I was finished with mine (I'm responsible for the dining room/art studio/homework space/office). I called out updates on my progress to keep them motivated. "I'm sweeping under the table!" "Now I'm clearing the table." I'm almost done sweeping!"

Phoebe finished quickly and happily came to report. At that point I walked away from my zone to check on Sophie in the playroom. Cooper disappeared for a few minutes from the adjacent front room. When he walked back to where I was, a mischievous smile danced around his lips. "Mom," he asked, "were you sweeping?"

"Yes, did you walk through the pile?"

"Well...not exactly..."

"Cooper, did you spread out the pile of crumbs that I just swept up? If you did you'll go to timeout."

"Just come see."

I was nervous and agitated at the thought that he had undone my work. I took a deep breath and walked into the dining room. Where my pile had been, now there was- nothing. He hadn't made a mess, he had swept the pile and thrown it away for me. I was delighted to be wrong. I expressed my gratitude with a hug, a smile, and heartfelt thanks. And because he had used his time to help me, he was given a few extra minutes to finish his own chores.

Isn't it interesting that something as small as a swept pile of crumbs can make all the difference in how an evening goes? I needed that confirmation today that my children are learning the things we're working so hard to teach them.

When Cooper saw how happy I was, his grin took over his whole face. I don't think he had realized the power that one small act of service could have in bringing happiness to himself and others.

Summer Longing

"Mom, I'm ready to be done with school. I want it to be summer. When I'm at school I miss you. Summer and the weekend are the only times that I feel like I'm living."

Peter shared these thoughts with me one day last week. I admit, I agree with him. The school day feels so long and then homework and chores seem to take forever. We just had our first really beautiful week and we spent most of it at home, doing homework or cleaning something. I would love to be the mom that says, "Today we're not doing any chores! We're just going to play!"

But I can't.

If I do that once Peter will bring it up everyday and insist that it's our new normal. He'll say, You let us not do our chores last Thursday, so I think you should let us skip them again. And I'll say no. And I'll tell him that until he graduates from law school and has passed the bar he needs to stop lawyering me.

So instead we stick to the "work first, then play" routine. Our day would be so much happier if we just went to the park, or if we came home and played video games. Sure, our house would be a disaster and the boys would never get their homework done, but we probably wouldn't have as many tantrums and timeouts.

Here's the thing though, I'm looking at this whole mom-game long term. I want these kids to have a happy childhood, but I also want them to someday be functional adults who can take care of themselves. Last night at dinner Phoebe and Cooper had a conversation about which rooms in the house they were capable of cleaning. You know what? Except for the kitchen and the bathrooms (and only those because I haven't taken the time to teach them how yet), they could clean most of it. Yes, they might need direction on where to put things away, and they definitely need encouragement and pep talks, but they can do the bulk of the job on their own.

And so we continue to do homework and chores. We keep on working before playing. And we all look forward to the summer when we can fulfill our responsibilities and still have time to lay around reading books or going to the park or the library or the pool if that's how we want to spend our time. And someday they will tell me that they're so glad they learned how to work hard.

I hope.

In Defense of the Cop-Out

Remember back when I started this blog? My goal was to stretch my intellect, to give me something mentally stimulating instead of letting my brain turn into mush. The subtitle, trying to be clever, is descriptive of the purpose of this blog.

Lately I've been feeling untrue to that goal. Instead of two small children to care for, as I had in the beginning, I have four not-quite-as-small children to keep up with. My brain is now in such high demand that by the time the kids finally go to sleep I'm all tapped out. That leads me to post a movie or pictures with a few lines of text. Not so clever, right?

Except.

Yesterday Phoebe asked me to tell her stories about when she was small. I opened my computer and pulled up the blog. While I was looking for stories, I found some movies. We watched one from when Phoebe was about Sophie's age. Then we watched one of Cooper. Then we watched five or six more. The kids loved seeing themselves and I loved remembering how sweet and smart and little they were.

At the time that I posted those movies I'm sure I thought, "Oh man, I have to put something on the blog. What am I going to post? I'm so tired, but I can't miss a day. I guess I'll just do a cop-out post." But now, nearly seven years after starting this blog, I love those posts. I have my own, easily accessible home movies to share with my family. And I think that is wonderful.