The Same, But Different

This picture is on display among several others in our dining area. While playing on Saturday, Topher found this little hat. He and Sophie decided they should recreate the picture. Then they switched roles.

What Is the Gospel?

I spoke in church yesterday. It had been just over three years since I last gave a talk in church. I love to speak, but the long hiatus seemed to add extra pressure as I tried to prepare my talk. Also, the topic was huge. I was asked to speak for eight to ten minutes on the topic "What is the gospel?" Phoebe suggested that I start by telling the congregation that my talk would contain an intermission since I would need to speak for so long to cover everything. After a lot of prayer and writing, I was able to get it just under the ten minute mark. And then the first speaker gave a short talk/testimony, so I let myself have an extra minute.

I was unusually distracted while I gave my talk. I was aware that I was presenting what I had prepared, but I also had an ongoing inner monologue wondering if I was speaking clearly and slowly enough and if what I was saying was resonating with anyone. When I reached the last paragraph that I had written, I stopped glancing down at my notes and just bore my testimony.

Several people commented that I was "fun to listen to" and "had so much energy." That was a relief since I was concerned I didn't have as much energy as usual. Our ward still broadcasts our meeting to those that can't attend in person. That means that not only could my mom and grandma watch my talk, but I could go back and see how I had done. I was surprised at how natural and conversational I seemed, it didn't appear like I was reading a prepared talk. That was a relief. It also helped me to see where I had changed the talk on the fly; this copy reflects most of those changes.

What Is the Gospel?

“So, what do you believe?”

I was a 15 year old sophomore in high school. My friend, who had asked me the question, sat with me in a relatively quiet spot at a party while music and dancing and other innocuous theatre kid antics went on around us. He seemed genuinely interested in hearing the answer to his question. It felt like this was the scenario that my Seminary teachers and Sunday School teachers had been preparing me for. In the moment I paused, said a prayer, took a deep breath, and asked myself the same question, “What do I believe?”

There’s a Primary song called I Want to Live the Gospel. The first verse says, 

I want to live the gospel,

To know that its teachings are true,

To follow the plan of my Savior

And live as he wants me to do.

This stanza could answer the question of what I believe. I want to live the gospel because I know that its teachings are true. But that leads to another question, what is the gospel?

The Gospel Topics section of the church website has a page for the word gospel. It states, in part, “In its fulness, the gospel includes all the doctrines, principles, laws, ordinances, and covenants necessary for us to be exalted in the celestial kingdom.” To put it the way my 12-year-old daughter Phoebe did when she found out what I was speaking about today, “Oh, so, everything.” With such a broad definition, yes, the term gospel does seem to include everything. And often that’s how we use it. The gospel is a broad, all encompassing word that says what we believe.

Let’s focus our lens of understanding and move from that broad meaning to the heart, the center of the word gospel.

In his April 1973 talk “This Is the Gospel”, then Elder Howard W. Hunter said, “The gospel is often referred to as the good news, or glad tidings of salvation. The plan of salvation, therefore, is the gospel of Jesus Christ. The Master explained to the Nephites that he had fulfilled his mission on earth by complying with the will of the Father, thereby becoming the Redeemer of all mankind. The further statement to “repent … and be baptized in my name” defines the gateway to the narrow path leading to eternal life.”

According to President Hunter, the gospel is the plan of salvation, the steps we need to take in order to return to live with Heavenly Father. He is referring to and quoting from 3 Nephi chapter 27. That chapter gives us an explanation of what the Gospel is directly from the Savior. After His own atonement, crucifixion, and resurrection, Jesus came to the Nephites in the Americas and taught them. Starting in chapter 27 verse 13, He said:

13 Behold I have given unto you my gospel, and this is the gospel which I have given unto you—that I came into the world to do the will of my Father, because my Father sent me.

14 And my Father sent me that I might be lifted up upon the cross; and after that I had been lifted up upon the cross, that I might draw all men unto me, that as I have been lifted up by men even so should men be lifted up by the Father, to stand before me, to be judged of their works, whether they be good or whether they be evil—

15 And for this cause have I been lifted up; therefore, according to the power of the Father I will draw all men unto me, that they may be judged according to their works.

Using these quotes and scriptures, we’ve moved from gospel including everything, to the gospel meaning the plan of salvation, and now gospel meaning the earthly mission and atonement of Jesus Christ. In the March 2008 issue of the Liahona, Elder Jeffery R. Holland wrote, “…(T)he Atonement of the Only Begotten Son of God in the flesh is the crucial foundation upon which all Christian doctrine rests and the greatest expression of divine love this world has ever been given. Its importance in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints cannot be overstated. Every other principle, commandment, and virtue of the restored gospel draws its significance from this pivotal event.”

Now that we have an explanation of what the gospel is, how do we put it into practice in our daily lives? Returning to 3 Nephi chapter 27, Jesus gave the Nephites the answer to this question, His instruction applies to us as well. Beginning with verse 16:

16 And it shall come to pass, that whoso repenteth and is baptized in my name shall be filled; and if he endureth to the end, behold, him will I hold guiltless before my Father at that day when I shall stand to judge the world.

Then, continuing with verse 20 of the same chapter:

20 Now this is the commandment: Repent, all ye ends of the earth, and come unto me and be baptized in my name, that ye may be sanctified by the reception of the Holy Ghost, that ye may stand spotless before me at the last day.

These verses bring to my mind the Articles of Faith. That’s exactly where my brain went all those years ago when my friend asked what we believe. That's what I shared with him. The fourth Article of Faith echoes the words of the Savior and tells us the beginning actions we must take to access the Plan of Salvation, to step onto, as President Nelson has called it, the Covenant Path. It says:

4 We believe that the first principles and ordinances of the Gospel are: first, Faith in the Lord Jesus Christ; second, Repentance; third, Baptism by immersion for the remission of sins; fourth, Laying on of hands for the gift of the Holy Ghost.

Our first action is to have faith in Jesus Christ as the Savior of the world, faith in the power of His atonement. Faith is a belief, it is not a perfect knowledge, but it is a beginning. The next step we must take is to repent. Repenting means that we turn our lives and will away from worldly distractions and desires and back toward Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. It is not a one time event, rather it is something that we need to do on a daily basis. Baptism by immersion for the remission of sins comes next. This is something we only do once. However, each time we partake of the sacrament we recommit to the promises we made when we were baptized. What are those things that we covenant?

1. Come into the fold of God. 

2. Take upon ourselves the name of Christ. 

3. Bear others’ burdens, that they may be light; mourn with those that mourn; and comfort those in need of comfort.

4. Stand as a witness of God at all times and in all things and in all places. 

5. Serve God and keep his commandments.

Those last three sound to me like the life Jesus led, like the example that He set for us. After we are baptized we receive the Gift of the Holy Ghost by the laying on of hands. The Holy Ghost helps us keep those covenants we made when we were baptized. His guidance directs us as we continually nourish our faith and daily repent. And then, we endure to the end.

Enduring to the end is more than simply continuing on until our mortal journey is complete. Part of enduring to the end includes making additional covenants in the Temple. Before he was the president of the church, President Nelson said in April 2001, “The basis for every temple ordinance and covenant—the heart of the plan of salvation—is the Atonement of Jesus Christ.”

In 3 Nephi chapter 27 verse 21 Jesus told us what it looks like to endure to the end:

21 Verily, verily, I say unto you, this is my gospel; and ye know the things that ye must do in my church; for the works which ye have seen me do that shall ye also do; for that which ye have seen me do even that shall ye do;

It was so important, He said it twice. In other words, enduring to the end means following the example of the Savior throughout our lives, living, serving, and loving others as He did. I love the way President Nelson explained it during his October 2022 General Conference talk, Overcome the World and Find Rest. He said:

“Overcoming the world is not an event that happens in a day or two. It happens over a lifetime as we repeatedly embrace the doctrine of Christ. We cultivate faith in Jesus Christ by repenting daily and keeping covenants that endow us with power. We stay on the covenant path and are blessed with spiritual strength, personal revelation, increasing faith, and the ministering of angels. Living the doctrine of Christ can produce the most powerful virtuous cycle, creating spiritual momentum in our lives.”

If my friend asked me today what I believe, this is what I would say. I believe that Jesus Christ came to the earth to teach, to minister, to love, to lift those that were around Him, to heal, to bless. Then he suffered the Atonement and took upon himself all our pains and worries and sicknesses so we would never have to experience those things alone. And then He was crucified and was resurrected. Because of the choices He made, we have the opportunity to repent and live with Heavenly Father. Jesus Christ is the center of the plan, He is the gospel. This is the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. We bear His name. He is the good news. I say this in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

On the Subject of Snow

While the other kids were rolling snowballs and making snowmen, Cooper was taking pictures. These are my favorite of the bunch.

Snow!

We finally got some snow! It was just enough that Peter got a snow day, mostly because it was forecast to be the heaviest when the buses needed to do the afternoon run. I knew that rain was supposed to follow soon after, so the kids went out while the flakes were still falling. The girls traded off wearing my boots, which meant I stayed inside while Cooper and Phoebe kept Topher in the yard. I was totally okay with that.

Speed Poetry

For her World Civilizations class last week Phoebe learned about Sijo poems. They're similar to haikus, but longer and from Korea. The assignment for the lesson was to write her own Sijo poem. Unfortunately, she was hit by a major case of writer's block. To help her get out of her rut I said we could practice and each write one at the same time, no pressure for it to be good or even make sense.

And then she wrote something amazing.

Here's her sijo poem, shared with her permission:

Diving into a world, one between two pages, feels like home,

I meet familiar faces, time and time again, saying hi

But shocked back into the real world, nothing more than words on a page.

I thought her poem was wonderful and I encouraged her to submit it. She did and finished the assignment more quickly than she had expected to.

And, just for fun, here's mine as well:

In my house, all the loud comes in waves and crashes on my eardrums.

Six people talking, yelling, laughing, singing at the same time.

Then night brings sleep, my house is quiet, I miss their cacophony.

Tidy Again

Topher: Mom, see how my hair can do this? (pulls hair over his eyes)

Me: Oh, would you like a haircut?

Topher: Yeah.

Called Away

Last Saturday Bryan and I got a text from a member of the Bishopric asking if we could meet the next day shortly before church. Bryan has been without a calling (a responsibility at church) for a while, so I figured they were going to extend a new calling to him. I also wondered if I would be released as the choir director since I've had that calling for a long time.

We met with the Bishopric counselor right after my one practice with the pianist for our instant choir and right before church started. They did give Bryan a new job. He was asked to team teach a particularly rowdy Primary class of boys. I was surprised when the counselor said that I was getting a new calling as well, but first he would need to release me from one of the two I already had. My guess was wrong. I'm still the choir director (for now). However, I am no longer the Young Women's advisor.

I was so nervous about the impending instant choir that I said yes to the calling change and didn't think too much about it. Once the choir was finished with their number and I was sitting back down on our pew my brain started processing what had happened and all the things I would miss. 

I loved the two and a half years that I served in that calling. It wasn't always easy, most of it was over a screen or distanced outside. I had very different opinions and views from the YW president, and that led to some unhappy meetings. But I still loved it. I loved getting to know the girls. I loved the women in the presidency that always welcomed me to meetings and valued my input. I loved that those women kept me connected to my ward through the years we were at home. They helped me feel less isolated during that very hard time. I loved getting to teach the youth. I even loved attending Wednesday night activities and firesides (spoken like a true extrovert). But, more than anything, I loved that year that Phoebe and I got to spend in YW together. That was a special gift.

Once I had listed through everything I would miss, I had a hard time keeping my emotions in check. I let them bubble up just a tiny bit at church. Once we got home, all those feelings came out of my eyes and ran down my cheeks. Phoebe and I had a solid cry together, she was just as sad as I was.

As I was talking through all my thoughts with Bryan he made an interesting observation. He pointed out that I didn't love my own experience in the YW program when I was a teenager. It was a cliquish group and I was consistently on the outside. Nearly all our activities were sports or crafts, things that don't really bring me joy, but I still always attended. Most of the girls were much cooler than me, which translated to me always going to my assigned classes while they wandered the halls of the church building. I will take being uncool and going to class over being cool and truant any day of the week, but it was still lonely. Bryan was right, I didn't love that experience. Then he pointed out that maybe my time in this role was so I would come to love YW.

I think he's right.

Yesterday I taught my final YW lesson. It was spiritual and emotional, especially at the end when the young woman saying the closing prayer said she was thankful for what I've taught them and promptly started crying. The YW gave me a goodbye card and lots of hugs when the prayer was over. And I was sustained in my new calling as a Relief Society teacher. That means I get to teach the moms of the girls I've taught for the last few years. I hope all those women are ready for a teacher with a lot of energy and a firm belief in class participation, because that's what they're about to get.

A Room of Her Own

Sophie's art assignment last week was to create a bedroom out of cardboard. Thankfully we had plenty of boxes on hand. Here's her final result. Her ideal bedroom includes a bookcase and a cat poster. My favorite part is the desk chair.

Full Disclosure

When Topher woke up yesterday morning I was in the middle of checking how many school assignments each kid had for the day. He climbed onto my bed for a snuggle and looked at my computer screen. I explained what I was doing. He saw Phoebe's picture on the school page and the following exchange took place:

Topher: Oh, Phoebe has (small pause) eight things to do.

Me: (surprised at the correct number) Yes, she does. How did you know that?

Topher: Because I- I'm a genius.

Woman's Blind Bluff

One of Bryan's Christmas gifts was a new suit. It's been about ten years since he bought one and one of the buttons recently broke in half on his old suit. It's a good thing the weather is cold because he could get away with wearing a sweater to church instead of his suit jacket. He picked the new suit out, ordered it, tried it on when it arrived, and handed it to me to wrap. The pants needed to be hemmed, but he figured that wouldn't be hard to arrange.

Then he learned it would take six weeks to tailor and would cost roughly a third of the price of the suit. He started talking about hemming it himself and I asked if he needed me to do it. We've since learned that he thought I was offering to help when in reality I was asking if I needed to do it because I have more sewing experience. He said yes. Did I know how to hem anything? No, no I did not. But I knew his mom, a sewing wizard, was coming after Christmas so maybe I could ask her to teach me how.

Getting COVID threw a wrench in most of our plans that week, but on the last day they were here she patiently walked me through how to do a blind hem using my sewing machine. After she left I practiced a few times on some scrap fabric since I was worried about ruining Bryan's new suit. On Saturday night I finally got brave enough to actually hem the pants. And it worked! He wore his new suit to church the next day.

Here's a picture of the settings needed to do a blind hem, because I will definitely forget without this reminder. Shari, thank you for teaching me a new skill!

Instant Choir

Last Wednesday night I got a text from a member of the Bishopric. He let me and the Ward Music Coordinator know that the upcoming Sunday was Ward Conference. The Stake leaders had asked for a special musical number for the Conference, but the Bishop felt that wasn't enough time to prepare. The counselor that reached out to us had been to a "ward once and the choir director just invited anyone to come sing a hymn as a musical number." He thought that would be a great solution for Sunday.

The music coordinator gently said we should have been alerted to the need for a musical number a few weeks ago, then wisely deferred to me to make the choice. After more back and forth between the two of them, I chimed in. What he was asking for was an instant choir. It looks effortless, but requires work behind the scenes. I said it would depend on finding a song that would work, getting a pianist to agree on short notice, and reaching out to a few musical families to make sure that at least a few singers would join us for the "impromptu" number. He said that sounded good.

And then my head exploded.

No, not really, but it was stressful making a choir number happen on short notice and with no real practice from the singers. I looked to my own sheet music collection and found a Hymnplicity arrangement of Our Savior's Love that would work. My friend who plays the piano said yes to accompanying and I got the sheet music to her on Thursday afternoon.

One of the draws of Hymnplicity songs is that you should be able to use the hymnbook and copy a half sheet of paper to slip into the hymnal with the directions for the singers. It tells them if one line is sung only by the women or if the whole group should sing the melody in unison. This works, in theory. It's fine if you've at least had a chance to run through the song once or twice. But since we wouldn't be singing together at all until we were on the stand with an audience, I didn't think it would work.

My solution was to spend most of Friday night and Saturday morning editing sheet music together. Once upon a time the church had this amazing online hymnbook. You could look up a hymn, then transpose it into any key you needed. Since the arrangement we were using had two key changes, I really wanted that feature. But that tool relied on Flash, a program that doesn't work anymore, so my plan to just transpose and print didn't work. My next solution involved me spending several hours inputting all the notes the choir needed to sing, plus words and some dynamics, into a music writing program called MuseScore. When I was almost done with that I mentioned my dilemma to Bryan. And, being the technological wizard that he is, he found the replacement program for transposing, currently being beta tested. He transposed and shared the needed music with me.

At that point I shifted gears and used Kami to edit the PDFs of the transposed music. Then I printed it out and physically cut and pasted the three verses together, with directions found in the accompaniment, but not in the hymnal version.

After scanning and running it through a final digital edit, I printed off a copy of the music and stuck it in the choir bag.

The next morning, Sunday, I had to take Cooper to church early for a meeting. I used that hour and a half before church started to copy, hole punch, and highlight twenty-two copies of the song. I finished at 11:01, just in time to meet the pianist for our single run-through. This is the first page of the copy that the singers were handed in the few minutes before church started.

I spent the entire first half of the meeting alternating between stressing and praying. Seriously. I sat in the pew, mentally going through the cues I needed to give the choir and sometimes discreetly beating the time with my right hand. I'm sure the talk that came before the song was very nice, but I'm afraid I didn't hear much of it.

And then it was time.

I had no idea who would actually get up. The Bishop announced the song, saying we hadn't practiced at all and that anyone was welcome to join, even if they had never sung with the choir before. I had handed out most of my choir notebooks, but had the rest ready to go just in case we needed them.

We definitely needed them.

Bryan, who was one of the singers, estimated there were about forty people that joined us to sing, including the Stake President who admitted in his talk afterward that he was so excited he got swept up in the moment. From my vantage point, I would guess it was closer to forty-five. Indeed, there were people that had never sung with us before. I made sure the altos and tenors and basses were in the right spots (the sopranos all seemed to know where to go), mouthed a few quick directions ("the women start, watch me!"), and signaled the pianist to begin.

Was it perfect? No. I was very aware that the altos were somehow overpowering the other parts, while the men seemed to mostly sing the melody, even when they weren't supposed to. However, enough of the singers knew their parts and sang them well that most of the congregation probably couldn't hear what I heard. It wasn't polished, but I don't think anyone expected it to be. The singers watched me enough that all entrances and cutoffs were clean, a trick that doesn't always happen in a well rehearsed song. I think we were all anxious enough about how the number was going to go down that we paid extra close attention.

A shared sense of relief washed over the choir when we finished. Several of the participants told me afterward how well they thought it went. The Stake President started his remarks by saying he loved getting to hear the song in surround sound. The best comment was shared with me by one of our basses. He happened to be sitting next to a man who is not a member of our church and was visiting our congregation that day. Once the song was over and the bass had returned to his seat, the visitor leaned over and said, "There is no way that you all just got up there and sang that without practicing."

I'm relieved it went so well. I realize we probably could have sung something right out of the hymnal that would have saved me hours of work, but I guess my brain wanted to do this the hard way. My biggest concern at this point is that the Stake President had such a wonderful experience that he'll begin requesting instant choirs from all the congregations (we have twelve wards in our stake) he visits. I hope that doesn't happen.

Do You Want to Draw a Snowman?

Our preschool theme for the beginning of January is winter. We've read books about winter, watched YouTube videos that teach about the formation of snow flakes and how animals hibernate, and made a snowman out of playdoh. Topher also drew a picture of a snowman. He asked me to take a picture of his drawing. Then another picture. And another. And another. And another. I guess it's important to capture all those expressions.

Doppelganger

I enjoy looking through the photo memories that Google puts together. The spotlights on individuals are especially fun, particularly the collage that usually comes at the end. Yesterday I got a spotlight on Peter that took a surprising turn. A little more than halfway through the subject of the pictures changed from Peter to Topher. I know they look alike, but I didn't realize they were so similar that Google wouldn't be able to tell them apart.

Fort-itude

Filling In the Gaps

Due to our self-imposed quarantine, we didn't get to meet Legend and Zariah in person until last May. We stopped at their house on the way back from the Washington D.C. Temple open house and had an outside, distanced visit. Because of the rules about not posting pictures of foster children on social media, I didn't write about the visit. But I did take a few pictures!

This one has most of us, the second one has Legend off in the distance.

We saw them again briefly in June for another quick outside visit, but I didn't get any pictures of the kids. Then we got to spend Thanksgiving with them. Here are a few pictures I took during that visit. We've loved each chance we've had to spend time with them.

Officially Cousins

Almost two years ago my brother Jordan and his wife Leah were expecting their first baby. They had also gone through the long process of becoming foster parents. Shortly after being approved (maybe the next day?), they got a call that a brother (age five) and sister (about three months) needed a home. That brother and sister have been with them ever since. And, as of last Friday morning, they are officially part of their family. Before Friday I hadn't been able to share any information about them on the blog, but now I can!

Our little family planned to travel the two and a half hours down to Maryland to see Legend and Zariah join their family. I let Leah know that some of us had had COVID and let them make the call on if we would be there or not. She said it was fine as long as we tested the kids right before we left. The hearing was early on Friday morning, so we got a hotel for Thursday night. That meant the COVID tests would need to be on Thursday afternoon.

Unfortunately, Sophie and Peter both tested positive minutes before we were supposed to leave. Peter was upset. Sophie was devastated. Bryan already had to stay home to work, so they stayed at home with him. I double checked that it was still okay for the rest of us to come. Then I got on the road with Cooper, Phoebe, and Topher. We made it to the hotel a little after eight and finally convinced Topher to go to sleep about an hour later.  

I was determined not to be late, but traveling with other people meant that I didn't have total control over their behavior. After more stressing and pushing on my part than was pleasant, we left for the courthouse on Friday morning with thirty minutes to make a twenty minute drive. After one missed turn, we parked, paid the meter, and ran into the courthouse with minutes to spare. After going through security and wandering around we discovered we couldn't find them. Frantic, I went back to the security guards and asked where the adoptions were taking place. That's how we discovered we were in the wrong building.

The white van in this picture is ours, that's where we parked. See the big brown building on the left? That's the courthouse we went into first. See the smaller brown building on the right? That's where we should have been.

We ran. We ran so fast Topher lost a shoe and I told Cooper to just pick it up and keep going, we didn't have time to stop to put it back on. We had to run all the way around the building before we found an open door. We were now a few minutes past when the hearing was supposed to take place. I was so upset at the thought that we might miss it. We finally made our way through a second round of metal detectors and security and went up the elevator. We were ushered into the courtroom, just behind another latecomer. We sat down just in time to be told to stand for the judge.

We made it!

A few minutes later the judge announced that Legend and Zariah now share Jordan, Leah, and Maverick's last name. I know mine weren't the only teary eyes in the room.

I'm thrilled to be able to share this picture of their family of five. I'm so happy that I officially have a new niece and nephew and that my kids have two new cousins, especially since we've already considered them family for a long time.

They had a lot of people that came to the hearing to support them that morning. We're so thankful we could be among them. We love you guys!

Bedtime

Remember that big boy bed Topher got for Christmas? That left the toddler bed that without a purpose. We bought that bed when Peter was not quite two. That's the age he learned how to climb out of his crib, so he and I made a trip to Toys R Us and picked out this darling toddler bed. Here's twenty-three month old Peter showing his excitement over his new bed. 

The bed was used by each child after Peter.

Cooper:

Phoebe:

Sophie:

And finally Topher:

You may have noticed that the bed accumulated more and more damage as the years went on. Bryan had to reinforce the slats at one point because the bed was breaking. With all the little people that have jumped on it over the years, I'm surprised it lasted as long as it did. However, all good things must come to an end. Topher and Sophie helped me take the bed apart one last time.

Toddler bed, we'll miss you.