An Afternoon of the Arts

We had a little concert today. It included multiple disciplines  Peter was on the piano, Phoebe danced, and Cooper provided the spoken word during a cameo at the end. He tried to convince me that he should be allowed to come out of time-out even though his room wasn't clean, and then he danced too.

Phoebe was fine, but I did stop filming to double check. Cooper was sent back and he eventually cleaned his room. And Peter practiced his piano with very little grumbling, for which I was truly thankful.

The Need for Speed

Tonight we took the Young Men and Young Women to BYU for a really cool chemistry show. Peter and Cooper would have loved it. Well, Peter would have loved everything but the loud explosions and the fire, but Cooper would have loved all of it.

We had some seat belt issues in my car, so we left a little later than everyone else. In order to catch up I told the four girls that I had driven to keep up with me as we booked it across campus. I'm a fast walker, but I didn't realize I was so fast that four healthy teenage girls couldn't keep pace with me. One of them had to jog so she didn't lag behind.

I also didn't realize (until the show was over) that I'd put my body through more exercise than it's seen this winter. When I stood and tried to walk down the stairs to leave, my legs sent quite a protest to my brain. Now, more than three hours later, they're still mad.

It is nice to know I can still walk across BYU like a student who doesn't want to be late for class. Now if only my fast walking could help me be on-time to everything else in my life.

Accessorize

Who knew that a trip to the dollar store could result in such pink-hued happiness? The bracelets came from the same place. This girl definitely has her own sense of style.

We Could Be Heroes

The BYU Museum of Art currently has a fantastic display called We Could Be Heroes. It's all about superheroes and monsters, both fictional and real. Cooper and Phoebe and I spent a morning there last week.

For some reason as we were getting out of the car to go into the museum Phoebe looked at me and said, "Mommy, please don't leave me there, okay? When you go, just please don't leave me." I'm not sure why she was afraid I wouldn't be taking her home with me, but I assured her that no one would be left behind.

The kids loved it. I loved most of it, though I was a bit taken aback by a sculpture of Captain America holding the severed head of Saddam Hussein. Like I said, the subjects were both real and fictional. Phoebe's favorite was of Snow White and her Prince, both looking bedraggled and scruffy as their four small children played and cried around them. I got the subtext, she got that she finally found a princess in this seemingly boy-oriented exhibit.

Cooper's favorite was a giant, blue, blow-up monster with one eye wearing an Alice in Wonderland dress. I don't know why.

I love the picture of the mom wearing a superman shirt, holding her little boy on her lap. That one speaks to my soul.

In addition to the pieces of art, there was an interactive educational room setup for the kids to enjoy and to explore. They had hundreds of action figures in a large (and totally locked) display case. There were books and dress-up clothes and blank comic strips for the kids to write their own. Cooper worked on a comic strip and we all read books. Phoebe was all about the clothes. She insisted on keeping the same cape on the whole time we were there, but her headgear changed.

Cooper got in on a little of the dress-up action.

When it was time to go, Phoebe threw herself to the floor and cried, "No Mommy! Leave me here! Just leave me!"

I'm glad she enjoyed it.

Souvenirs

One year ago today Bryan and I went to Disneyland Paris (we debated telling the children we had gone, we told them), attempted to go to the Louvre (we ended up going two days later), got stuck in a subway turnstile and separated from most of our group (the reason we missed the Louvre), and ended up finding the BEST crepe shop in the city (which doesn't have a website).

And I can only find one picture from that day.

I'm sure the rest are here somewhere...

We're way over on the right. And since this picture is lacking any Disney branding, you'll have to trust me that it is indeed Disneyland Paris.

The Voice of Reason

The experiment went well. I don't know if the kids noticed a difference, but I did.

Tonight I was contemplating the day and I started comparing what I did today with something we tried last summer. I'm not sure if I wrote about it, but the idea was that Peter craved attention, regardless of what kind it was. Negative attention was generally more animated so he went for that more often. We tried to counter that by making a big deal over everything he did right. A really big deal. After the first day of that Peter looked at me suspiciously and asked, "What's going on?"

Today was different because I wasn't jumping up and down like a lunatic every time he said please or refrained from swatting at his brother. No, today when they got upset (as each of them inevitably did) I calmly asked what was wrong and helped to point out what skills they possessed to help them deal with the situation.

Really, I think the biggest benefit was that I was focused and therefore more aware of my own reactions. And I think more often than not that's what it comes down to. The children tend to reflect whatever vibe I'm generating.

I shall continue the experiment tomorrow.

What Are Your Strengths?

Last night I went to a class on being a leader. It was taught by one of the professors of the MBA program.

And it was amazing.

He taught that there are basically two ways to lead. You can focus on the areas that you need to improve and work hard to fill those gaps. Or you can focus on your strengths and use those to the best of your ability to lift and lead those around you. He was a proponent of the latter. He encouraged us to look at what we are naturally good at, then to evaluate whether or not we're using those skills on a daily basis.

He asked, "Are you an artist that doesn't paint? Are you a writer that doesn't write?" That resounded with me. Are there things that I should be doing on a daily basis that I'm not? Absolutely. I've got a mental list going that I keep adding to. I came home and asked Bryan if there's any real world application to being extremely social. I was half joking, I know I have other talents that I should really work on. But he looked at me seriously and said, "Yes, networking."

Networking is something that MBAs have had drilled into their heads. And it's true, I network naturally. I can remember details that people tell me about themselves so that when I see them again I can introduce them to new people and make new connections for them. In high school my mom called me "the Cruise Director" because at dances and social situations I was the one flitting from group to group, seeing that everyone was happy. I've never really thought of this as a serious talent. I thought the talent part was including people and making them feel wanted and welcome, and that's definitely part of it. But that's not all of it.

I also thought about my role as a leader in my home. Which leadership strategy do I employ? Sometimes it's the first, sometimes it's the second. I want to shift what I've been doing and focus more on strengths. I know that sometimes we have to point out what's missing, but I'm afraid I do that too much.

So tomorrow I'm going to actively search for my strengths and the strengths of my children. I'm going to highlight them and see if we can make time for them.

I'll let you know how it goes.

Greetings

When we went to sleep on Saturday night (or Sunday morning for some of us) our house was clean. This was due in large part to the fact that all five of us helped put everything in order. While they did grumble at times, the kids were quite helpful.

As we were gathering trash, I told Peter that he needed to say goodbye to his Valentine's Day robot. Once I agreed to snap a few pictures, he was fine with the farewell.

Peter's job on Saturday was the dishes, hence his apron.

In case you can't see it clearly, the robot has dialog bubbles coming out of his mouth. The top one says "Greetings" and the bottom one says "I am a robot."

Keep On Keeping On

Yesterday I gave my third talk in nine months. It's a good thing I enjoy giving talks, or I might begin to grow weary of speaking so much. I had prepared and research and prayed, but it wasn't until I followed the prompting to talk to my dad on Saturday night that I figured out how I was going to package the message. Thanks for the help Dad!

And now, as is my tradition, here is my talk.

Keep On Keeping On

And they shall also be crowned with blessings from above, yea, and with commandments not a few, and with revelations in their time—they that are faithful and diligent before me. – Doctrine & Covenants chapter 59, verse 4.

My husband Bryan is two months away from graduating from BYU with his MBA. It’s been a long two years. Actually, it’s been longer than that. About 4 years ago we felt prompted, “Yes, it’s time to go back to school. It’s time to finally do this thing that we’ve been talking about for years.” So we began the process.

Doctrine and Covenants 98:12 says “For he will give unto the faithful line upon line, precept upon precept; and I will try you and prove you herewith.”

That’s how the road back to school felt for us. We followed the inspiration that we received, but it always seemed like there was a big question mark at the end of whatever task we were working to accomplish. He had to take the GMAT, but would he do well enough? Would he get the recommendations he needed? Would he be accepted into the program? After much hard work, he did well on the GMAT, he got the recommendations, and he was accepted. Line upon line, the pieces to the school puzzle fell into place.

In a devotional at BYU-Idaho, Elder Bednar[1] explained this process. “Most typically we receive a series of seemingly small and incremental spiritual impressions and nudges, which in totality constitute the desired confirmation about the correctness of the path which we are pursuing.”

My preparations were of a different nature. I knew that Bryan wouldn’t be allowed to work during his first year of school, so I considered what I could do to support the family. By the time he was accepted, I was expecting our third child and I didn’t know how I would have a job in addition to taking care of our extremely active little boys and new baby girl, but I wanted to do my part. So I prayed about getting a job.

The answer came back as an emphatic “No!” I was not to work outside the home during the MBA. On one hand, I was relieved, and on the other hand I was terrified. Relieved to not be away from my kids; terrified of having no employment for a year. But with the no came a calming reassurance that we would find a way.

Remember that verse that I started with? Listen to it again. “And they shall also be crowned with blessings from above, yea, and with commandments not a few, and with revelations in their time—they that are faithful and diligent before me.” We knew that getting into BYU was a blessing. And we knew that we both received revelations along the way, but it wasn’t until recently that I thought much about the commandments involved.

That “no” that I received was a commandment that came directly to me.

In the April 2011 General Conference, Elder D. Todd Christofferson said about commandments, “The commandments, ordinances, and covenants of the gospel are not a list of deposits required to be made in some heavenly account. The gospel of Jesus Christ is a plan that shows us how to become what our Heavenly Father desires us to become.”

Notice that the verse in section 59 says that when we are faithful and diligent we will be given additional commandments? And not just one or two new ones, it says we will be crowned “with commandments not a few.” So the better we are at keeping the commandments we already have, the more we will be expected to do. That sounds a little daunting, but we know from Elder Christofferson that it is part of Heavenly Father’s plan to help us to become our best.

Nephi told us not to be worried about these additional responsibilities. 1 Nephi 3:7 says “And it came to pass that I, Nephi, said unto my father: I will go and do the things which the Lord hath commanded, for I know that the Lord giveth no commandments unto the children of men, save he shall prepare a way for them that they may accomplish the thing which he commandeth them.”

Later in chapter 17:3 he tells us “And thus we see that the commandments of God must be fulfilled. And if it so be that the children of men keep the commandments of God he doth nourish them, and strengthen them, and provide means whereby they can accomplish the thing which he has commanded them…”

During the summer before he was to begin, Bryan got another directive from the Spirit. He needed to defer for a year. When Bryan came to me and told me that he thought we should wait for another year, I was shocked. I had finally geared myself up and even gotten excited for this adventure we were going to have, and now he wanted to wait? He pointed out that the baby was due the first week of school. He didn’t want to miss her first important milestones because he was swamped with schoolwork. And he told me that he had gotten the prompting repeatedly.

Now, D&C 59:4 says that we’ll be given blessings, but only if we are faithful and diligent. My attitude toward Bryan’s desire to postpone school for a year was full of doubt, not faith.

In Ether 12:6 Moroni tells us “And now, I, Moroni, would speak somewhat concerning these things; I would show unto the world that faith is things which are hoped for and not seen; wherefore, dispute not because ye see not, for ye receive no witness until after the trial of your faith.”

After Bryan had brought up deferring several times, I agreed. He followed the necessary steps and pushed school back one year. I felt like I was twiddling my thumbs, dreading that long year, waiting for the next phase of our life to begin.

It was during this time that another commandment came. The Bishop of our ward in Pleasant Grove challenged everyone to build up a three-month supply of food. Rather than being a nebulous, hard-to-achieve request, he had a solid plan for us all to have three months of food gathered in just five months.

I recognized the blessing that this would provide our family. While I couldn’t work, I could build up our pantry. This counsel has yielded myriad blessings. What should have lasted for three months has lasted two years. Now, we haven’t eaten solely from our storage, but recently our diet has relied heavily on what we pulled together during what I originally thought would be a wasted year. In addition to food we gathered clothing and saved as much money as we could spare. And we were in much better shape to start school than we would have been if we had started the year before.

Back to D&C 59:4: And they shall also be crowned with blessings from above, yea, and with commandments not a few, and with revelations in their time—they that are faithful and diligent before me.

They that are faithful and diligent before me. Rather than telling my children to be diligent, I often use the colloquial phrase “keep on keeping on.” When they’re tired of walking or doing homework or cleaning their rooms, I tell them they need to keep on keeping on. Maybe this mantra is so prevalent in my vernacular because I’ve had to live by it while Bryan has been in school. I’ve had to be diligent in budgeting, steadfast in my support of Bryan and his workload, and patient while I’ve taken on more and more to care for my family.

That idea that diligence and patience are synonyms was suggested to me by my dad. I hadn’t equated them before. In my mind, patience was something that I needed with my children; diligence was for things like scripture study and exercise.

Alma supports this idea of patience and diligence being synonomous. Using the parable of the seed in Alma 32, one of the great chapters on faith, Alma teaches “And behold, as the tree beginneth to grow, … if ye nourish it with much care it will get root, and grow up, and bring forth fruit. …And because of your diligence and your faith and your patience … ye shall pluck the fruit thereof, which is most precious, which is sweet above all that is sweet, … and ye shall feast upon this fruit even until ye are filled, that ye hunger not, neither shall ye thirst. …Ye shall reap the rewards of your faith, and your diligence, and patience.”

Neal A. Maxwell, as quoted by Joseph B. Wirthlin in the October 1987 General Conference, said “Patience is tied very closely to faith in our Heavenly Father. Actually, when we are unduly impatient, we are suggesting that we know what is best—better than does God. Or, at least, we are asserting that our timetable is better than his. Either way we are questioning the reality of God’s omniscience”

One rule of the MBA program is that the students need to have an internship between their first and second years. Bryan decided at the beginning of the year that he would get his internship early. Perhaps this is why, after interviews and fly-backs and more interviews, the end of the first year of school came with no internship offer.

Romans 5:3 and 4 are applicable in regards to this period of time. “…We glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience; and patience, experience; and experience, hope…” We prayed and hoped and had faith that he would get an internship. I’m not sure I always took Paul’s admonition to “glory” in those tribulations, but I kept praying. Bryan and I had both had the Spirit confirm that he would get an internship. We needed to remain diligent, and exercise faith and patience, to receive the promised blessings.

D&C 58:4, one section earlier than the verse we’ve spent so much time with, says “For after much tribulation come the blessings. Wherefore the day cometh… the hour is not yet, but is nigh at hand.”

During the second week of May Bryan was offered internships with three different companies. We were astounded. The blessings had come. We again followed the direction of the Spirit and spent the summer in Wisconsin, living in cozy quarters at an extended stay hotel for twelve weeks.

Before going to Wisconsin we sold the contract for our condo in Pleasant Grove and moved our stuff into storage. We left without knowing where we would live when we came back. I spent countless hours scouring housing listings, but nothing felt right. I finally decided I was giving up and we would move to Wymount. At least, I thought I was giving up. Really, I was giving in to the promptings of the Spirit.

I feel the challenges of living in our tiny apartment on a daily basis. I also feel the blessings. This is a wonderful ward and we are thankful to be in it. Our neighborhood is full of friends for my kids to play with. My oldest son has an incredible teacher in school, a school that he wouldn’t have gone to if we had lived somewhere else.

I know that many of you have stories like ours. Several of you have gone back to school and hold multiple degrees. You have been faithful and diligent and seen the blessings that have come. Have you noticed the added commandments? Have you felt the increased revelations? I challenge you to be aware of them. Take note of the increased responsibilities, which could be considered commandments, as you are faithful. Listen and remember the promptings that come as you are patient and diligent.

Looking back, the time seems to have flown. We’re almost done with this adventure and soon we will begin a new one. My understanding of revelation and of Heavenly Father’s hopes for us has increased. I haven’t been the one sitting in classes or writing papers, but I have learned a remarkable amount during this time.

I pray that we will remain faithful and diligent, no matter our circumstances. I bear my witness that these things are true.

In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

Cabin Fever

Too much time indoors = stir crazy.

We're ready for spring.