My friend Charlynn put this on her blog. I thought it was worth re-posting. The question the person is asking the advice columnist: what do stay-at-home moms do all day? The columnist does a good job answering the question.I think it's interesting that we, no matter who we are, often have to justify how we spend our time to someone else. Those without children seem to have copious amounts of time when viewed by their friends with kids. Those with kids who stay at home might seem to have endless leisure hours from the perspective of their working friends. Why is that? Is it a "grass is always greener" mentality?
You'll have to click on the article (which my friend got from the Washington Post) to read it. Do, and let me know what you think.
6 comments:
I am in the rare position of being able to see this from both angles on a personal and daily basis. I spend half my week with my step-son, and the other half of the week I'm childless. You have less time to yourself when you fit a small child (or children) into your day, because you spend so much of your time taking care of their basic needs. You spend literally twice (if not more) as long eating, bathing, dressing, getting into the car, etc. It's the little things like making sure teeth are brushed, changing diapers, buckling seatbelts that eat up such a huge portion of your day. That's if you're a crappy do-nothing mom. Hands-on, mindful parents dedicate another huge portion of their day to teaching and interacting with their children. Plus add on to that the fact that most moms are horribly sleep deprived the majority of the time... not a good recipe for productivity.
Has the questioner ever MET a small child?
Wow, it's clear the questioner hasn't really tried to understand at all and hasn't spent much time with children. I loved the columnist's answer - right on sista!
I've seen this column before around the Internet and I LOVE it! The way she puts it is so spot-on. I find it especially true with a newborn again. I feel busy most of the time (too busy to leave the house more than once per day, that's for sure) and yet, when I'm at the end of the day and ask myself what I did, I can't answer. What DID I do? Laundry? Dishes? Dinner? Entertain children? Feed children? Tomorrow (sooner!) all those things need doing again.
I find myself jealous of that McDonald's commercial with the working mom who stops at Mickey D's for coffee and an Egg McMuffin in between dropping off her kid at daycare and going to work. "Just a little 'me' time," she says. Not that I want coffee, and not that I want to work outside the home. So maybe I do tend to have a "grass is greener" mentality.
I think it's interesting how you mention that we all feel the need to "justify" our time to others. I feel that even with other stay-at-home moms. They're doing cute crafts or cooking from scratch using their wheat grinder, and I wonder if I should be doing that instead of blogging or scrapbooking or reading (but knowing I wouldn't enjoy it).
I guess we should all stop comparing ourselves to each other, judging each other. :-) Easier said than done.
That was well written. I don't know though about having no time. When people ask me if I have time, I always feel like I am saying yes. I have time to meet them at the park or make a call when I am at the park or check my email while I am watching the kids at the park. (As you can see, a lot of my life consists around the park.)
I absolutely loved her response about banging her head on the keyboard. . .really, let's face it, just the emotional and mental energy it takes out of you thinking about your child all days wears you out. I'm going to be honest and say that people would be surprised at the time I waste because I have one child, but I've learned that although I don't have to get him any one thing at a moment, I'm constantly making sure he's okay by listening for him and to his interactions with other kids. Having a kid is NOT like having a dog -- you're so much more emotionally invested in the situation.
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