To become as He is, we must also do the things He did.... To be and to do are inseparable. As interdependent doctrines they reinforce and promote each other. Faith inspires one to pray, for example, and prayer in turn strengthens one’s faith.... Do without be—hypocrisy—portrays a false image to others, while be without do portrays a false image to oneself.
Through discipline the child learns of consequences. In such moments it is helpful to turn negatives into positives. If the child confesses to a wrong, praise the courage it took to confess. Ask the child what he or she learned from the mistake or misdeed, which gives you, and more important, the Spirit an opportunity to touch and teach the child. When we teach children doctrine by the Spirit, that doctrine has the power to change their very nature—be—over time.
A sweet and obedient child will enroll a father or mother only in Parenting 101. If you are blessed with a child who tests your patience to the nth degree, you will be enrolled in Parenting 505. Rather than wonder what you might have done wrong in the premortal life to be so deserving, you might consider the more challenging child a blessing and opportunity to become more godlike yourself. With which child will your patience, long-suffering, and other Christlike virtues most likely be tested, developed, and refined? Could it be possible that you need this child as much as this child needs you?
The most important way to teach to be is to be the kind of parents to our children that our Father in Heaven is to us. He is the one perfect parent, and He has shared with us His parenting manual—the scriptures.I've been trying to implement these principles over the past few days. I've been framing corrections to Peter in terms of "be" and "do". I've also repeatedly asked myself what I need to learn from Peter.
We have a looooooong way to go, but I hope this is the shift in direction we need.
5 comments:
I loved that talk. I listened to it again last night. There's a lot of good guidance in there. Tell Peter Nana Shari loves him. The same for Cooper and Phoebe. I miss and love you all.
I really liked that talk too(!)- especially the last part. I obviously have a lot to learn from Ansley. Keep up your good (and hard) work. Thanks for visiting my blog. :)
I'm probably working on my doctoral thesis in parenting at this point. To say that Andrei has been a difficult child would be the understatement of the century. Mostly the same stuff you're mentioning with Peter, coupled with the fact that at Peter's age, Andrei was still largely nonverbal, which lead to REALLY violent outbursts when he didn't get his way and couldn't talk his way out of it with his limited vocabulary.
I can't give you any advice. What worked with Andrei probably won't work with Peter because they come from wildly different family backgrounds. All I can tell you is that you need to turn it over to the Lord and be willing to keep an open mind.
Also keep in mind that the most difficult children often make the easiest teens. There's a steep learning curve, but looking back each year after age 5 has been exponentially better.
Best of luck. Know that you're not alone in this.
Thank you for reminding me of this talk. Isaac told us the other night that we smile at the girls more then we smile at him, Ugh. It has been a hard year and I think I have been expecting a lot out of the boys and not giving as much as I expect. I need to go listen to this talk again! Thank you!!
your awesome Margot
you have the right mind set.
obedience to direct council of the lords appointed servants always brings the prescribed blessings. I admire your faith and your strength you are a 'to be' worth modeling after.
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