The Editor

The kids are usually asleep when I write on the blog, but last week Peter happened to be awake when I was posting the story he wrote. Eager to see how it looked, he came and sat by me while I worked. He read over my shoulder, then commented, "You need a comma there."

A mixture of parental pride and annoyance at being edited swelled within me. I asked him to explain what he meant.

"See right here?" He pointed. "You need to pause." Then he read the line once without a pause and once with. "See? That's why you need a comma."

Yup, he's mine.

No Longer Rocking the Street Urchin Look

Last week I decided Sophie's long hair needed tidying. If it had all been long I would have left it, but she had three long, wispy, chunks of hair that hung down past the short stuff. After trying for weeks to tame it with bows and bands and brushes, I opted for scissors. I sent Bryan a text at work, notifying him of my intentions and giving him a chance to voice his objections. He didn't make any known.

I took a few before shots. At least, I tried to. I couldn't really get the side view because every time she saw the camera out of the corner of her eye she turned and looked at it. 

Here are the after shots. You can't tell, but I cut at least two inches off, and that was just to even it up with the shorter hair. Yes, now she looks a bit like the little dutch boy, I know, but I was expecting that. And now that she's had her short hair for a few days, I've decided I like it. Of course I won't keep it this short, but I don't regret cutting it.

Not Winnie the Pooh

When we found out we were moving to New Jersey I did some research on the area. I learned that Costco is far away, that the schools are highly rated, and that there are bears. I kind of freaked out over the bear thing. Every time the kids and I would drive somewhere I'd remind them to watch for bears. I was mostly joking, but a little bit not.

On Friday my brother and I took the kids to the park. We'd been there for about thirty minutes, Jordan and I were pushing the girls in the swings, when Cooper walked over yelling something. After repeating himself a few times I finally realized he was saying, "Bear! Bear!" I turned in the direction he was looking. A few hundred yards away was a black bear.

Now, I know that I'm not supposed to run when I see a bear, but if not for the boot I might have forgotten that and started sprinting. Instead, I pulled Sophie out of her swing and announced that it was time to go home. The boys complained, but I kept walking toward the car. As I went I called to the other families that were playing, "Just so you know, there's a bear over there." They glanced up, then went back to whatever they had been doing, apparently unbothered by the sharped-tooth omnivore nearby.

I kept my eye on the bear as I strapped Sophie into her car seat. Jordan took care of Phoebe and I walked back to the park to call the boys. The bear took no notice of us and after a few minutes, wandered back into the woods.

As we told Bryan the story later Jordan commented that I'd reacted strongly. He also said the native New Jersians acted much like Californians do during an earthquake, "Oh, is the ground shaking again? Meh."

I wondered, had I overreacted? Did the other moms at the park know something I didn't? Could it be that New Jersey black bears are unusually docile? (Recent news stories tell me otherwise.) Should we have just stayed? The bear left, after all.

And then I realized something: there was a bear. A BEAR people! I did the right thing removing my family.

I've been thinking a lot about this experience. How could the other people at the park be so relaxed
that close to a bear? Why didn't they gather their children and leave as well? I think the answer is that they're used to the bears. Bears are common here, just as earthquakes are common in California.

But just because we see something everyday, does that make it acceptable?

That got the wheels in my head turning. What about things we see on TV or movies? What about scenes or words that at first make us feel uncomfortable, but after repeated exposure become commonplace or even expected? What about pornography? What about seeing mean behavior? Rude behavior? Does repeated exposure make them more okay?

How close did the bear need to be for the other people to feel nervous? How close do we need to be to inappropriate material before we say, "This isn't okay. I need to leave." and then do so? How many times did they need to see a bear before adrenaline stopped accompanying the sight? How many times do we need to hear a word before it stops making us feel awful? Before we stop registering it at all?

To me, the black bear was an obvious threat. To the others it was no big deal.

I'm going to be on the lookout of other "bears" in my life, other things that aren't okay, but have become acceptable over time. I want to make sure that I have that same, "I need to get my children away from this" reaction that I had with the bear. And I hope I never react to a bear sighting, real or metaphorical, with apathy.

Star Ships

Peter came home from school last Friday excited to use my computer. I told him he couldn't play video games and he quickly assured me that he wanted to type up a story he had written. I was okay with that, so I turned on my computer and pointed him in the right direction. After lots of formatting (formatting is Peter's favorite aspect of typing on the computer), he finally committed the story to the page.

I asked him if I could put it on the blog and he said yes. I'm keeping his spelling and punctuation as he typed them. Without further adieu, I give you the first book of Star Ships, by Peter.

STAR SHIPS

The ground began to sink down, down, down, with our ships and us on it. ”Wait a minute!” Kai said” this is the secret platform on Planet X that leads to the secret lava pit.” “We better get into the Black Bullet  2,000, the Fire Flash 6,000, and the Fire Bolt 90,000 to save them and us because they cost $ 600,000,000” Max  said .I got into the Fire Bolt 90,000 just as Max got into the Black bullet 2,000 and Kai got into the Fire Flash 6,000 and started hovering  just as the platform stopped and the only way out closed “ We’re trapped and the lava is rising “ Kai said, “Guys, you know in the movies when there’s a secret passage behind the wall” I said . “Yes” Max said, “I’ll use my scanner to see if there’s a passage,” suddenly the scanner started to beep rapidly, BEEPBEEP, BEEPBEEP, BEEPBEEP. Just then Kai‘s ship started blasting away at the wall ware the scanner just was .BOOM .The wall blew up.” Guys turn on your Hyper Drives and Warp Drives because we’re getting out of here” Kai yelled.

Chapter 2

We raced through the tunnel at full speed ( Over 500,000,000 miles a second ) “Guys” Max yelled, “The lava is starting to drip into the tunnel.” Just then the tunnel turned up and we came out .”Let’s go back to H.Q. I said.

The Fun One

One thing that made General Conference even more special was the addition of an uncle. My brother Jordan drove up from Maryland and spent the weekend with us. This is the first time since 2001 that he and I have lived within a few hours of each other. Not wanting to waste that proximity, I invited him to visit. He told me that he was coming, not to spend time with me, but to prove to his nieces and nephews that he is, in fact, the fun uncle. To the eight other uncles: I think that sounds like a challenge.

He did lots of uncle-y things while he was here; he swung the kids around by their ankles, played with them at the park, laughed when they were funny, played Legos with them, read books. He also conducted a cooking class with Cooper and Phoebe. Jordan is an excellent baker (a hobby we share and therefore discuss often) and is known for making delicious cookies. Between Conference sessions on Sunday he decided to be brave and have them help him whip up a batch of chocolate chip oatmeal coconut cookies. It went pretty well. He did have to ask the kids to step away from the hand mixer on multiple occasions, but I think that was the biggest conflict. We're still enjoying the fruits of their labors.

 
When he pulled the first batch out of the oven I commented on how puffy they were. He asked the kids what cause that and Phoebe yelled, "Baking soda!" He was pleased that she had retained some of what he'd said.

The kids didn't want Jordan to leave, but real life was beckoning him back home. The boys were at school and Sophie was taking a nap when he departed, so it was just me and Phoebe. If I'd been thinking I would have taken a picture with my brother, but at least I got some of Uncle Jordan with Phoebe. She was mad that he was leaving, so at first she refused to smile. She relented eventually.

Thanks for visiting us Jordan. You were a great help and we all enjoyed having you here. We'd love to see you again soon. Please, come see us when your eardrums heal and you're thoroughly rested from our loud voices and abundance of energy.

Sophie's Newest Trick

Almost Like Christmas

For the last two weeks I've talked to the kids about how excited I was for General Conference. Then last Monday we had a Family Home Evening all about listening to the Holy Ghost and that that would especially come in handy over the coming weekend. As the week continued I would mention a few times a day that I was so excited to hear the talks at Conference or the music or about hearing the Prophet. All of that talking made an impact.

On Saturday morning the kids woke up SO EXCITED for Conference. Phoebe kept asking when it would start (not until noon here), Peter put on soothing church music, they helped tidy the house while we waited. I started to wonder what magical spell had been cast over my house.

When the first session began the kids found their Conference Notebooks that I had put together the night before and got cozy, ready to listen, take notes, and color. It was the best day of Conference we've had since Peter was old enough to participate.

I was thinking about why it went so well. I think in part it was because I'd talked it up so much. I truly love General Conference and so my excitement for it was real and, apparently, infectious. But that wasn't the only reason the kids looked forward to it.

We've established traditions around this special weekend. We have waffles with fruit syrup and whipped cream. We have special notebooks to help the kids focus on what they're hearing. During the October Conference we decorate for Halloween between the sessions. We've, over the last eight years, developed our own family rituals that help the kids recognize how important it is to listen when the Prophet speaks.

We added one more thing this year. I got out my work table and taped five pieces of paper to it. Each paper had one word: faith, obey, work, service, honest. Each word had a corresponding pack of stickers, each unique to that word. When the kids heard one of those words from the pulpit at Conference they could get a sticker.

I wasn't sure if stickers would be very good incentives. I had heard of someone doing something similar with candy for the prize, but I didn't want the kids to be any more sugared up. How did it work? It wasn't bad for our first attempt. I think it will be better in April, and the kids definitely started listening for those words, though it wasn't until the end of the last session that they seemed to really catch on. Maybe I'll only have three words next time, five might have been too many.

And in case you're curious, faith and service were mentioned more than the others. The concept of obedience was in heavy rotation (Phoebe got a sticker when she pointed out that "keeping the commandments" means obedience), but the word wasn't said much. Work and honest didn't get a lot play, though the synonyms diligence and truth did.

Sunday did not go as smoothly as Saturday had, but we ended well. In fact, the last two talks of the last session were the ones that the boys really liked. They especially enjoyed Elder Bednar's talk about his two little boys and the band-aids. (It's not available online yet, when it is I'll add a link.)

I was impressed by how focused on the Savior so many of the talks were. I also loved the emphasis on being kind to those around us, whether or not they're members of our church. I've already started to watch the talks again to learn what I missed the first time around.

How did General Conference go for you? What did your family do to help you listen and learn? 

Das Boot

I went to the doctor this week hoping he would tell me my foot was healed and that I could have my driving privileges reinstated. He poked and twisted my foot; I winced, but it was in discomfort, not pain. Then he had me stand on the ball of my foot.

Well, he tried to have me stand on the ball of my foot.

I couldn't do it, not at all. It felt like someone had stabbed the bottom of my foot. Aside from the pain, my foot simply wouldn't respond. He told me that I have a Lisfranc Injury, It's common with soccer players and people stepping off curbs. And it's going to require at least two more weeks in the boot. That means two more weeks of not driving and two more weeks of staying off my foot as much as possible.

I will do my best to distract myself from my cyborg foot and lack of motor freedom by watching all five sessions of General Conference this weekend. This is one of my favorite weekends of the year. The kids are excited too. Granted, they're looking forward to our traditional waffles more than the talks we'll hear, but at least they're happy about two consecutive days of church.

Thursday and Friday

After spending Wednesday of our journey in Nauvoo, we drove several hours to sleep near a very religious university. I never knew I wanted to see Notre Dame, but when we discovered it was between Nauvoo and Kirtland, I was suddenly very curious. It seemed like it would be a good place to stop for the night.

Here's some proof we were there.

I didn't even get pictures of the really gorgeous parts of campus. We were running late and couldn't spend much time wandering around, but trust me, it was very pretty.

From there we made our way to our final planned church history stop: Kirtland, OH. Kirtland was part of my brother's mission and he had sent me a short list of things to see. Unfortunately, I didn't plan well enough and we arrived in Kirtland a few hours after everything had closed. We still got to drive around the Temple.

It was interesting being near the Kirtland Temple so soon after the Nauvoo Temple. The Kirtland Temple is not being used as a temple, it's open to tourists and is not owned by the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. It felt like a building, an old building with a lot of wonderful history, but just a building. The Nauvoo Temple is a dedicated building, a house of God. Just being on the grounds you can feel the Spirit. The difference between the Nauvoo Temple and the Kirtland Temple is tangible.

After driving around the Temple we got back on the road. Detouring to Kirtland took us away from the Interstate which meant we took lots of winding paths to travel the few hours to our hotel for the night. It was during this leg of the journey that the kids were introduced to something brand new: Amish people. We saw several families walking along the road at dusk and a handful of reflector-covered horse-drawn buggies sharing the road. My children were fascinated. We had a long talk in the car about why someone would eschew technology.

We crossed over into western Pennsylvania and stayed in a hotel that was nice but out in the middle of nowhere. Seriously. We had to drive around in the dark for a while just to find the entrance to the parking lot. We could see the hotel, but like a mirage in the desert, we couldn't get there.

Friday was spent driving through Pennsylvania. We were all excited when we crossed the Delaware and entered New Jersey. That night we finally made it to our new house.

I like visiting states I've never been to before and I was able to cross more off my list. Missouri, Michigan, Indiana, and Ohio were all new to me. Given another opportunity to move across the country (which is something I hope doesn't happen anytime soon) I'm not sure I would drive. It was a long week of being in the car and we relied far too much on watching movies on my laptop as we traveled. We also listened to several audio books (Henry Huggins, Ramona Quimby, Age 8, all the Fancy Nancy books, among others) and I enjoyed that, but wow, that was a long road trip. On the other hand, I really enjoyed seeing all of our friends and family, so maybe I would drive if I could see so many people that I love.

Just before driving up to our new neighborhood, Bryan took us to a scenic overlook. New Jersey is really a lovely state.

Snuggles and Books