Evolving

This picture was taken about eight years ago. I've been thinking a lot lately about how I've changed over that time. In some ways I'm a very different mom, in other ways I'm the same.

May 2006, Annapolis, Maryland

I'm still just as neurotic about car seat safety and keeping choking and strangulation hazards far away. I guess my concerns about safety in general are still strong, and maybe stronger after watching my children do things that make my heart stop. I would still rather sit and hold my kids than handing them off to someone else. I still read to them and go on walks with them.

But I'm more laid back about other things. We're eating cereal for dinner? Cool. You can't find pajamas? Just wear what you can find. You want to throw a yelling/screaming/name-calling tantrum? Just go do it in your room and come join us when you're done, I've got too many other little people that need me to give my attention to that.

Most days I feel more capable. I remember feeling overwhelmed when Peter wouldn't nap and I was desperate for some downtime. Now if I get to sit and feed Sophie while Phoebe sits outside my bedroom tapping on my locked door, I consider it a restful quiet time. I'm much more tired, but able to go longer on less sleep. I don't wake up and think, "How on earth am I going to fill the day all the way 'til bedtime?" Instead I think, "Today is not nearly long enough to fit in everything we need to do."

There's a joke that says if evolution were real then moms would grow an additional arm each time she has a new child. That doesn't happen, but I do think our ability to juggle our responsibilities increases.