On My Own

I did something amazing this week. Bryan spent the last five days in Chicago for work. That means that I was on my own with all four kids, THE WHOLE TIME. As I was counting down to his trip I was not just nervous, I was downright scared. How would I meet all of their needs and still make time to shower and sleep? And how would I not completely lose my mind?

Once, back when I was pregnant with Phoebe, Bryan went out of town. When he returned I wrote on the blog how grateful I was that he was back. Someone that I didn't know (but had linked to me through another blog) left a very unkind comment saying that my short time with Bryan away was nothing compared to those whose spouses are deployed with the military. (Yes, I'm being intentionally vague, and no, I'm not going to link to that post.) 

This comment hurt me deeply, and I thought quite a bit about it. I had not used that comparison, nor had I even thought it. I'm not doing that with this post either. His short absence is not the same, not at all. 

Why do I bring that up? Because being on my own with my four kids is not the same as another mom being with her kids. Each family is different, and all kids are different. I celebrate making it through the week because, as I've written about before, my kids can be hard. So hard that I can't really take them places that other families go. I dream of being able to go on a walk and not having one or two or three of them run off. Or taking them to Costco and not having anyone wander away. Or simply getting into the van without anyone jumping on the seats or climbing into the trunk. And I really dream of the day that arguing and yelling and general contention are not the party line at our house.

I paint a fun picture, no? It is not always that bad, but we see that kind of crazy more often than we don't. Some people might not even blink an eye over this stuff, but I have a hard time with it.

This last week had its rough spots, some rougher than others. But you know what? It also had some really good spots, much better than I thought we would have. We all slept every night. The house wasn't a disaster when Bryan got home. I even got to shower while he was gone. And I can only think of one night when I thought my head was going to explode. And really, for our house that's something worth celebrating.

So I can happily say that we all made it through the week in one piece. Bryan is home, back from a week that included working in a candy factory. I'm happy to know that I was able to take care of things and keep my sanity in his absence. And I'm even happier to know that since he's back, now I don't have to do it on my own.