The Mane Event

Someday you might have a baby daughter. And perhaps your young offspring will develop cradle cap. Not to worry, you tell yourself, her older sister suffered this same malady and a simple shampoo cured it. So off to the local store you go. But that same simple shampoo is not available. That's fine, you think, I'm sure this brand that I'm not familiar with will be fine.

You'll get the product home, only to discover that it's not shampoo, but lotion. It does say that it will remove cradle cap, so you leave it in the bathroom, ready for the next time you wash your sweet girl's full head of hair.

That time may come on a Sunday morning, as you're hurrying to get ready for church. You'll follow the directions to rub the lotion into her hair, then use the soft brush the makers generously included in the box to slough off the dry scalp skin. Of course you'll follow it up with a good lather of your favorite-smelling baby shampoo. You'll see that the cradle cap is still there, however, and you'll resolve to find a better product.

Time might be running late, so perhaps you'll lay your freshly cleaned girl in her bed while you take a speedy shower. When you get out you'll check on her and wonder why her hair hasn't dried yet. You might reach out to touch it. Only then will you realize that her hair is not wet with water. No, the sheen is due to the lotion that didn't wash out. And, my goodness, it does have a strong smell.

It's almost time to leave for church now, but your spouse can hardly stand the pungent odor wafting from your normally sweet baby's scalp. Using teamwork, you may decide to wash her hair again, just to get rid of the smell.

It won't work.

After church you'll wash it twice more.

It still won't work.

The next day you'll decide that the scent has dissipated, or maybe your nose has merely become accustomed to the stench. It is only then that you notice the other outcome of using the lotion. You knew that it hadn't eradicated the cradle cap, but it has gotten rid of something else: your daughter's hair. Not all of it, mind you, but a significant thatch of hair has been evicted from the top of her head, right at the front.

And on that day, you will look at her, sigh, acknowledge that her hair now resembles the thin mane of her great-grandfather more than it did a few days before, and declare that she is still adorable to you.