Cooper Crosses a Bridge

This week Cooper was awarded his Webelos badge and the Arrow of Light. I was his Den Leader while he was a Webelos Scout. It was good for both of us to have that time together each week. And it's amazing how much smoother the process of completing the requirements was for Cooper than for Peter, simply because Cooper had leaders that were organized.

We were all pleased for Cooper and glad that he put in the work to earn these awards.

This is Cooper crossing over the bridge from Cub Scouts to Boy Scouts.

This means that after five years of weekly Den meetings and monthly Pack meetings, we no longer have any Cub Scouts. Sophie was sad when she realized this and asked our Cub Master if she could keep coming to the fun Pack meetings, even without Cooper. It's good to know she's enjoyed the Cub Scout experience as mush as Cooper did.

Well done, Cooper!

Running

This week has been, well, crazy. It's the busiest week we've had in my recent memory. Each afternoon, Monday through Thursday, has been full of driving and doing. Tomorrow won't be any different. I'm glad that we're giving the kids the chance to participate in these activities, but I'm glad that they have an end date.

On a related matter, I'm glad that my kids eat leftovers, even when they don't want to.

I'm Gonna Knock You Out

A few weeks ago I was reminding the kids that it is not okay to hit anyone. They pointed out that it was allowed if someone was trying to kidnap them. Yes, I conceded, then hitting and yelling and kicking were all acceptable. That's when Sophie mentioned her friend Gemma, who is smaller than Sophie and a year and a half her senior.

"But if Gemma tried to kidnap me I wouldn't punch her in the face, because I think that would ruin our friendship."

I think several aspects of that scenario would do harm to a friendship, but I'm glad she's trying to think through the consequences of her actions.

Sportsing

Yesterday Sophie, Topher, and I picked Phoebe up from the bus stop, Cooper from school, and drove thirty minutes to attend Peter's first volleyball game. Bryan left work a little early and met us there. Four games were played and Peter, wearing the number six, finally got to play in the final game.

We learned a few important things from our adventure.

1. The families from each team sit in separate areas. We didn't realize this until we were seated. We had to move.
2. Cooper and Phoebe are excited and vocal fans. I had to tell them that booing was not cool but cheering was encouraged.
3. Bleachers are temptations. Sophie had to use great self-control to keep from climbing all over them.
4. Topher loved the clapping and cheering. He clapped and yelled, no matter who scored.
5. Shocking to no one, Bryan knows a lot more about volleyball than I do.
6. Peter really liked having us there.

One game down, eleven more to go!

The Longest Minute

Cooper loves to write. He can often be found hunched over lined paper, scribbling furiously. This weekend he wrote a few stories and some poetry. He read one of the stories to us during dinner and I asked if I could post it here. He grinned and said yes. I've typed it as he wrote it, no editing.

The Longest Minute

by Cooper

I woke up. 5 seconds. The first second, one eye opened, checking to see if light was coming in through the window. It was. The next second, my other eye opened. The final 3 seconds, I came to my senses and sat up. Only 5 five seconds. The next 2 seconds, I swung my left leg out of bed, and the 2 seconds after that, I swung my right leg out of bed. 9 seconds. The tenth second was odd. I fell, and yelled. I got up in the eleventh and twelfth second. Three more seconds to walk to my dresser. 15 seconds. I found my shirt in the next five seconds, and my pants in the five seconds after that. 25 seconds. Half the next second, I closed my eyes, and the other half I opened them. Blinking. I took a deep breath in through my nose. 1...2...3...4...5. And out through my mouth. 1...2...3...4...5. 36 seconds. 7 seconds to slip on my shirt, another 7 seconds to slip my pants on. 50 seconds. 1 second, 1 step. Another second, another step. 52 seconds. I'm out the door. Across the hall in 3 seconds. And 5...4...3...2...1.
Everything went dark.

Where's Sophie?

Giving It (Not Quite) My All

Last week three different people commented that they didn't know how I was doing everything that I'm doing, that they were impressed at how together I seemed, at what a conscientious mom I am, at how patient and relaxed I was. They asked my secret.

I laughed.

I don't know how even one person thought I was relaxed or together, though I do work hard at the momming bit. Over the last few months one phrase has continued to run through my head: at capacity. I am at capacity for everything. We are doing just enough of what needs to be done to stay afloat, and nothing more.

After I laughed, I did give some real answers. Here are a few of them:

I say no to many activities out of a desire to maintain my mental health. I don't say no to everything (I still have three callings at church, which is proof that I'm still saying yes), but I don't participate in much. That includes stuff for the kids. I'm excited that Peter is doing volleyball, but it's already sent disruptive waves into the rest of our schedule and I'm not sure how to reorganize it. Phoebe wants to do an after school swimming program that would be twice a week, but I'll probably need to say no, in part because I simply can't be in two places at once.

We've placed a ridiculous emphasis on chores and teaching the kids to clean. Sometimes this is awesome, because my house stays much cleaner than it would if I were trying to clean up after everyone else. I still clean, but much less than I would if we hadn't made chores so important, and it's usually while people are at work and school, so I suspect they don't know it's happening. Sometimes it's awful because nobody here likes to clean and there is much weeping and wailing and gnashing of teeth when chores are mentioned. That does not a happy home make. But I believe that in the long term their lives will be blessed by knowing how to clean and having an appreciation of and desire for a clean house, so we clean.

I try to keep everyone's expectations really low. Seriously. That way when I'm finally able to do something full out, it's amazing. But if people expected amazing all the time? Nope, I'm already exhausted.

Speaking of which, I have learned that I must have a minimum of two showers per week to maintain any level of social acceptability. But that minimum is also usually the maximum number I can make time for during the week. Thank goodness for dry shampoo.

I sit and hold Topher almost every evening while I listen to scriptures and books. There is something important about being made to sit instead of being constantly busy. And the scriptures and other books enrich my mind and soul. Maybe that's where the false impression of patience comes from?

Finally, after many years, I'm embracing sleep. I sleep whenever I can. I nap. I've started getting insanely tired at like 10:00 at night, to the point that I can't keep my eyes open. It's really odd, but I'm trying to go for it.

And that's it. That's what I do. It's not much. It's certainly not enough to warrant the comments I received, but it's just enough to keep us moving forward.

My Current Favorite Photo

The Music Man

Gifted Green

Our St. Patrick's Day was a busy Sunday and therefore a low-key celebration. We wore green...and that's about all we did to mark the day. Peter and Cooper borrowed green ties from Bryan. The girls' green was thanks to two aunts. Sophie wore a green bow from Aunt Leah, thank you Aunt Leah! Phoebe wore a scarf  (Peter says it was a cape) that I wore at my sister's wedding way back in 2011. Thanks for getting married Aunt Paige!

The Lucky Ones

I attended a parent/teacher conference for Phoebe this week. Her teacher had many glowing things to say about Phoebe. The only negative is that Phoebe is a talker (which isn't surprising), but her teacher said she admires Phoebe's wonderful communication skills. That's a good spin to put on it.

Phoebe is a friend to everyone. She helps whenever she gets the chance. This quality sets her apart so much that she received her school's version of the student of the month award in February. Each month is dedicated to a characteristic or two. In February students that were especially kind and caring were honored. Phoebe was also honored the year before in the Being Dedicated and Showing Best Effort in School category.

I also loved seeing an example of her writing on the wall outside her classroom. She listed all the reasons why she's lucky including a wonderful family, awesome parents who love her, and a spectacular teacher.

Phoebe, I'm pretty sure we're the lucky ones to have you in our family.

Special Effects

Peter discovered that the camera on my phone has effects, which means I've found all kinds of weird pictures in my gallery. Here are a few of my favorites:

Heaven on Earth

On Saturday I finally made it to the Temple for the first time this year. It was wonderful. The Philadelphia Temple is so beautiful and the experience had many surprises that made my heart happy.

As I got into the elevator to go into the Temple from the parking garage, a man got in as well. He asked if I had a name to do. I said no, then he asked if I would do one for his family. I told him I'd love to. He handed me a card from a stack he had pulled out of his coat pocket. Knowing that I was helping a family made my time in the Temple more meaningful.

A couple from my ward was serving as Temple workers while I was there, which was especially comforting since I got a bit turned around and it helped to see a friendly face who also knew which direction I needed to go. And there was a couple in my session from the ward that shares our church building. They've sung in the choir the last two Christmases and we smiled and said hello.

When I go to the Temple I have a question that I'm prayerful about. This time I got two clear answers, both impressions that I've gotten before. The first is that I need to consistently get enough sleep. The second was that we have too much stuff and need to actively get rid of as much as we can. This has been on my mind for a few weeks, that if we had less stuff we would have more peace, more time to enjoy each other's company, fewer arguments about chores. The kids have been pushing back because, in Phoebe's words, they "love all the stuff!" But when I told them that the same answer came in the Temple, they all accepted it more readily. We'll see how it goes following that inspiration over the next few weeks.

My trip to the Temple was made possible by Bryan and the kids sacrificing their whole day. The Temple is an hour and a half each way, plus two hours at the Temple itself. That's too long away from Topher and too long to have Peter be in charge of the kids at home. So everyone came and sat in the waiting area and on the Temple grounds while I was inside. I had some pretty grumpy family members when I exited. But thankfully I was so renewed from my visit to the Temple that I had a lot more patience than usual.

I love the Temple.

Self Defense

Apparently Topher has learned how to defend himself against Sophie when she's demanding a kiss by smashing her cheek against his mouth. Have I mentioned that Topher has eight teeth? And that Sophie is aggressively affectionate? She was pretty shocked by his reaction, so hopefully she'll finally remember that he's a person and not a toy.

Blessed Are the Peacemakers

Peter gave his second Sacrament Meeting talk yesterday. He had a few weeks to work on it and did most of the prep work without any prompting from us. Then, on Saturday, he required a lot of prompting to actually write the thing. A lot. But he finally wrote it himself. The only note I gave him was to ask if he had a personal experience he could add (he said no) or if he had found a quote from the talk he'd used to study the topic (he added one), the rest was him.

He did a good job delivering it. He looked up at the congregation a few times at the beginning, then again near the end. I figured he didn't look up more because he was nervous. When I asked he said that yes, he was nervous, but that wasn't the reason he didn't look up more. It turns out the microphone was too low, so he had to lean down just a bit to reach it. He was afraid that if he looked up any more, the mic wouldn't pick him up.

Here's the talk. I think he did a wonderful job with it.

Be a Peacemaker

Third Nephi, chapter 12, verse 9 says “Blessed are all the peacemakers, for they shall be called the children of God.”

But what is a peacemaker, and how can we be one?

Mosiah 4:13 says: “And ye will not have a mind to injure one another, but to live peaceably, and to render every man according to his due.” This means that peacemakers don’t try to hurt others. They try the opposite. They try to live without conflict. 1st Peter 3:11 states: “Let him eschew evil, and do good; let him seek peace, and ensue it.”

Peacemakers don’t just live in peace, but they look for peace, and when the find it, they pursue it. They strive to always be peaceable. To be peacemakers, we must “renounce war and proclaim peace.” To be a peacemaker, we must follow Jesus and Heavenly Father’s examples. 1st Corinthians 15:33 says: “For God is not the author of confusion, but of peace, as in all churches of the saints.”

We must realize that, according to President Nelson’s talk “ Blessed are the Peacemakers” of the October 2002 General Conference: “We can learn to love our fellow human beings throughout the world. Whether they be Jewish, Islamic, or fellow Christians, whether Hindu, Buddhist, or other, we can live together with mutual admiration and respect, without forsaking our religious convictions. Things we have in common are greater than our differences.” End quote.

Jesus taught: “Therefore, if ye shall come unto me, or shall desire to come unto me, and remember that thy brother hath ought against thee-

Go thy way unto thy brother, and first be reconciled to thy brother, and then come unto me with full purpose of heart, and I will receive you.”

The Primary song Love One Another says “As I have loved you, - Love one another.”  To be peacemakers we must love as Jesus loved, and forgive as He forgave. I know that if we seek peace and forgive and love one another, and renounce war and seek peace, then we can be peacemakers, and we shall be called the children of God. I say these things, in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

Baller

Peter stayed at school late three afternoons this week to tryout for the volleyball team. Good news: he made it! Of course, only eighteen people tried out and the coach decided not to cut anyone so they all made it, but we're still counting it as a win! I think Peter is happy about it. This week he's been explaining what he's learned about volleyball and talking about various techniques and watching clips of the BYU men's volleyball team and leaping through the house showing us how high he can jump. Yeah, he's looking forward to it.

Peter's schedule is going to be a lot more exciting for the next month, but that's okay, I'm excited for him to try something new.

Busy Baby

Monkey Do

"I'm pretending we're very well behaved monkeys." -Sophie, while climbing across my bed yesterday morning.

The Professor

There's No Fun Like Snow Fun

We had our eighth snow day of the school year today. During the last few snow days the weather has been really yucky so the kids haven't gotten to play outside. But this time the snow fell last night, so this morning we bundled up and headed outside.

Topher napped for part of the time, then observed the rest of the adventure from the warmth of the house.

By the time I called them all in they were ready for our traditional hot chocolate. And though they all enjoyed their fun in the snow, at bedtime tonight Cooper and Phoebe were talking about how much they miss warm weather.

Two, One, Two, One

Sophie has been doing reading lessons for a year now. That's kind of a misleading statement. We took a great big break when Topher was born, so I guess it's more accurate to say that we started reading lessons a year ago, but they certainly haven't lasted the whole duration. In that time we've restarted twice and some lessons have taken two days instead of one. We're using the same book I used to teach Peter, Cooper, and Phoebe to read. There are one hundred lesson in total. Today we finished lesson forty-two.

Today's lesson, the photo credit goes to Sophie.

Reading lessons were not easy with any of them. If memory serves, Cooper took less prodding than the others, but I think that's because we saved the lessons for just before bedtime when he and I could have one-on-one time. He thrives with that kind of attention and so didn't put up a fight. Peter and Phoebe definitely did put up fights, but they still did the lessons.

Most days Sophie flat out refuses. She's screamed, cried, thrown things out of anger at being asked to sit with me and learn to read. Occasionally she complies. Usually she does not. Last week, after I asked her to come do a reading lesson she replied, "I'm never going to do a stupid, hateful, disgusting, 100% reading lesson." Her adjective game is on point, even if her obedience leaves something to be desired.

I realize that all kids learn to read at different rates and that I probably shouldn't push it if she's not ready. But, knowing Sophie, I think it's more a case of "I don't want to and you can't make me." That's not going to work so well when she starts Kindergarten in the fall.

I was praying about how to help her, if not learn to read, at least be willing to learn in general. I listened to some really great speakers talk about motivating children and I had an idea. We tried it out the Friday before Topher went into the hospital, then a few times this week. And it's working. I mean, she still argues and doesn't want to do the reading lesson, but not as much as usual.

What are we doing differently?

Instead of pushing through and doing a lesson in one sitting, I set a timer for two minutes. When the time is up, she picks a song and has a dance party for one minute. Then we do two more minutes of reading, followed by another minute of dancing. We repeat the process until the lesson is done.

The first time it worked beautifully. She had so much fun dancing and liked that it felt more like a game. The second time she tried to run down the clock by going slowly and chatting instead of reading. I saw through her plan and told her I would pause the timer each time she stopped the lesson, thus delaying the mini dance party. She stopped that ploy. Today it worked well and went surprisingly fast.

Here's hoping we can get through a few more lessons before we have to change tactics again.