Play On

I complain about how loud my house is, then I take pictures like this and realize I'm largely to blame. I guess if quiet was really my goal I would stop encouraging them to use all the musical instruments we have.

Bring on the music.

Mother's Day Epiphany

Most of my adult life people have told me that I look younger than I am. It was mostly amusing and occasionally irritating, like when I tried to get a quote on a wedding cake as an almost twenty-one year old and was questioned in a shocked voice if I was even sixteen yet. But I never really believed that I looked as young as they said. I knew my own face, I knew that I was aging.

A few days ago I got a Google picture notification letting me know that I had memories to view from fourteen years ago. I opened the app to see chubby cheeked Peter when he was still the only child. I was twenty-six, nearly twenty-seven, when the picture was taken.

And I look like I'm about fifteen.

Seriously, I was shocked at how young I looked. I guess all those people were right, I did look crazy young.

Don't worry though, I'm pretty sure having an additional four children, raising those children, zig-zagging across the country, and living through the last year have brought my visible age equal to my actual age. Heck, I may have even swung the other direction.

The takeaway? Motherhood makes you look old. Totally worth it and important? Yes. Ages you like crazy? Also, yes.

In My Own Little Corner

When we moved to Pennsylvania our plan was to rent for two years, then buy a house. The summer that our two year lease was up for renewal, we had a baby instead of buying a house. The next summer we still didn't feel quite ready. Then the next summer we were in the middle of a pandemic, but we actively looked for a house. Now the housing market is so nuts that we probably won't be able to buy for some time.

We continue to make do with this house that we have outgrown. We squeeze into the kitchen to eat. We've set up school and work stations in various locations in the basement and main floor. We've bought sound cancelling headphones to mitigate the loud voices. But one issue has remained unsolved: Topher is still in our room. Topher, who is nearly three, has not only stayed in our room, but he has still been sleeping in a pack n' play instead of a toddler bed as a way to contain him in our room. There simply isn't space in Peter and Cooper's room for another bed. Plus, Topher is shockingly busy and curious, so all the tiny Legos and trinkets that occupy our big boys' room would be a fascinating danger to our littlest boy.

Bryan has been brainstorming for months about how to solve this dilemma. We talked about clearing out our closet and making that into a room for him, but Bryan was uneasy with that arrangement. He repeatedly tried to work out how to build a sturdy yet temporary little room for Topher within our room. Nothing really fit. Then, last week, Bryan had an epiphany. Why build a little room when we could buy one on Amazon?

Topher's new room arrived on Saturday. He thinks it's pretty cool. And he's stayed inside it for naps and nights. He's now on a toddler mattress and has space to move around. He did figure out how to unzip the door, but he didn't leave the tent. We see this as a temporary solution, but we're thankful for it while it lasts.

Embrace the Change

As a family we made the prayerful decision to pull the kids from our local school district and sign them up with an established cyber school. We finished the applications a few days before they announced a cap on new enrollments. Last week we docu-signed the official paperwork. On Friday morning we got an email with the kids new user names and passwords and instructions on how to access the school website.

Since then I've spent several hours each day (and I didn't realize I had any extra to spare) learning how the new school will work, reading questions and answers from other parents on the Facebook pages, ordering supplies off the lists that we now have access to, urging the kids to plow through as much of the summer reading homework as possible, and continuing to prepare our house to become school on Monday.

I feel like I should be stressed and overwhelmed and nervous about how this is all going to go down. I mean, all the other parents seem pretty nervous. And, honestly, I am stressed and overwhelmed, but not about this. I'm approaching this school year with much less stress and anxiety than usual. When I realized that I started pondering why. Why am I not riddled with nerves? Why am I not freaking out with questions about how I'm going to effectively supervise the real schoolwork (the end of last year was rough on families and teachers alike and did not conclude with much real schoolwork) of four kids at four levels while still running the house and engaging Topher?

And here's the answer I've come to: because it's the right choice. This is the right thing for our family right now. Peter is adamant that this will only last a year. Phoebe is ready to embrace it long-term. I have no idea what will happen educationally for our children when this school year is done. But I do recognize that peaceful assurance that comes from seeking divine guidance, then following it.

Practice What You Preach

I was listening to a book sometime last week (or the week before maybe?) and a phrase caught my attention.

"Practice kindness."

I've heard those two words stuck together before and my brain registered it to mean doing kind things for people. But this time a different meaning occurred to me.

When you want to improve at something, what do you do? You practice. My kids practice piano (sometimes) and math and reading. I spend time on this blog practicing my writing. And we know from research that deliberate practice yields much higher results than half-hearted, begrudging practice.

But how often to we deliberately practice being kind?

That's what I heard this time when the phrase "practice kindness" was said. The inspiration that came in that moment was strong. It said that my family needs to deliberately practice kindness. Because, unfortunately, we aren't doing so well at being kind right now.

I would love to blame the fighting and name-calling and critical words and judgement and hypocrisy and pride on being stuck inside a townhouse together for over five weeks. And maybe that's why it feels so overwhelming and concentrated right now. But the truth of it is that we've had these issues for a long time. Some of us have trained our brains to see the negative to the point that happy, good, uplifting things are not even acknowledged. We have practiced negativity and we're reaping the rewards.

Now, that doesn't mean that every moment is awful. But when a friend recently texted me how thankful she was for this extra time at home with her family because of how strong their relationships were becoming, I almost cried. That is not the experience we are having. Many days I feel like a broken record as I respond to the choices around me. "Please, just find a way to be kind, please."

That is why "practice kindness" struck such a chord with me.

I talked to Bryan about this on Saturday night, then introduced this idea to our kids at the end of our church lessons on Sunday and challenged them to think of ways that our family can practice kindness. I told them we would discuss it during Family Home Evening. Then, yesterday morning during our family scripture study we read Mosiah 4:13-15:

13 And ye will not have a mind to injure one another, but to live peaceably, and to render to every man according to that which is his due.14 And ye will not suffer your children that they go hungry, or naked; neither will ye suffer that they transgress the laws of God, and fight and quarrel one with another, and serve the devil, who is the master of sin, or who is the evil spirit which hath been spoken of by our fathers, he being an enemy to all righteousness.15 But ye will teach them to walk in the ways of truth and soberness; ye will teach them to love one another, and to serve one another.

I pointed out the importance of what we were reading for our situation. I was so excited to revisit those verses and make a plan last night for FHE to help us be kind. Then yesterday turned into an awful day. Really, really bad. I made the decision to postpone Family Home Evening by one day, to tonight. I could tell that we would not have receptive hearts and minds last night.

In spite of not having our official family council, I still asked the kids if they had thought of any concrete ideas to help us practice kindness. I was able to talk one on one with a few of them and hopefully keep their brains working on this topic.

What do you think? How do you practice kindness in your life? How do you teach and encourage your families to be kind, even when they're tired and stressed and would rather be mean? What council do you have for us as we make a plan to deliberately practice kindness?

Well Shod

Many years ago I bought The Most Comfortable Shoes Ever. They were moccasins lined with what felt like soft, warm, lamb's wool on the inside. And they were black, which is my favorite color to wear. I loved them so much that I wore them into the ground. When that happened I did the only sensible thing I could think of: I bought another pair of the exact same shoe.

I've never been one to spend lots of money on shoes, so Payless was my footwear store of choice. When they announced they were going out of business, I had two thoughts: 1. But I've always bought my kids' shoes from Payless! followed closely by 2. WHERE WILL I BUY MY MOCCASINS?!

You can imagine my relief when I discovered a very similar pair of black moccasins at Target. I bought them, of course. I've gotten many comments on these shoes, "those are cute," "those look so comfortable," "wow, it's almost like you're wearing slippers!" Oh no, I assure them, they look like slippers, but they're really just comfortable shoes.

I was at Target again this morning, perusing the shoe section in the hopes of replacing my black ballet flats that I've worn holes into. After walking through the aisles, searching for church shoes, I looked up and discovered my moccasins, a brand new version of what I had on my feet at that very moment. I walked over and smiled at them gratefully. That's when I realized they were displayed with slippers on either side. Huh, I thought, that's weird. I walked up and turned the tag for the moccasins over in my hand to get more information.

You guys, I've been wearing slippers as shoes for at least a year.

I'm equal parts embarrassed for my shoe mistake and also wondering if I can keep wearing them since they're so very comfortable.

A Message, Just For You

Every six months, after watching General Conference, I ask friends and family what big themes they got from the talks. There are usually a handful that we all see in common. Then we marvel at how the speakers knew just what we needed.

This year I've asked (or been asked) the same question, what were the themes from Conference? We've all said different things this time. We agree when someone brings up a theme, "Oh yes, I can see that," but that's not what stood out to us.

This was surprising to me at first. Was I not paying enough attention? How could I have missed so many messages? I was sitting in Testimony meeting on Sunday, listening to the many different themes that the people in my Ward got from Conference when a reason occurred to me.

This year a major shift took place in our church, moving to a home-centered, church-supported curriculum model. I wrote about it the first day of 2019. Each family was invited to spend much more time together studying the scriptures, specifically the New Testament, and the Gospel. We've also been reminded on a nearly weekly basis that personal revelation is a vital component of this. We've focused on this aspect in our own family study.

I suspect one reason we each got such different messages this time is that we've been working so actively on attuning ourselves to personal revelation. Each week we've had to determine what our family needs to hear from the assigned chapters, what our classes need, what we personally need. We've practiced listening to the promptings of the Holy Ghost. We know that the more we practice something the more proficient we become. We have practiced listening, and then acting on those promptings.

I shared this observation as a piece of my testimony on Sunday. Since then I've had people tell me they had noticed the same things.

I am so thankful that we can hear the same talks and yet receive such wonderful and divinely individualized messages.

The Blessing of Waving My Arm

I currently serve in three callings (jobs) at church. I'm a den leader for the cub scouts, I teach Peter's Sunday School class, and I'm the ward choir director. With all those roles some Sundays are hectic, some are less so.

Our choir sang the Hymplicity arrangement of Come Ye Children of the Lord this past Sunday. Due to the travel plans of choir members and our already small numbers, we had taken the summer off. I was nervous that no one would come back. And in fact, our first rehearsal a few weeks ago only had four people in attendance when we were supposed to start. However, by the time we were ready to sing for Sacrament Meeting we had twenty singers, a huge group for our small ward.

They sounded amazing. Truly. Their blend was gorgeous, their dynamics smooth and appropriate, even the a cappella section was lovely. While it would boost my ego to take total credit, the lion's share goes to the people that showed up to sing,

After the number was over and the next speaker was at the pulpit, I was in the hall with Topher. As I walked and bounced our wiggly boy, I was contemplating how well the song had gone. Then a new idea popped into my head: leading this choir is a tender mercy. I already had the cub scout and teaching callings (though I was teaching Primary rather than Sunday School at the time) when I was asked to take on the additional role of leading the choir. I said yes without hesitation. It's a blessing to serve in a calling that brings me so much joy and lets me exercise skills that had been dormant. I hadn't viewed it in that light before and the realization made me smile.

That's the thought that I shared with the Bishop when he thanked me after the meeting. Just in case they decide to release me from one of my jobs, I want him to know that I'm especially thankful for that calling.

Hogwarts, A History

Flashback to the spring of 2017. School was winding down and I had a realization: we weren't moving. For the first time since Peter started school, we were staying in one place during the summer. Shouldn't we do something fun and exciting to celebrate?

That sent my teacher brain into overdrive. Phoebe was just finishing the Harry Potter series and Cooper was part way through. They were all very into the Wizarding World at the time. Lightening struck my brain and I knew what we should do with our summer: we would go to Hogwarts!

No, we didn't go to Florida to enjoy that actual Wizarding World of Harry Potter, though that would have been awesome. Instead, we experienced our summer through a Harry Potter lens.

First, I created Hogwarts letters for each child.

Then I made chore charts that fit with our theme. 

The kids loved the idea and jumped right in. We each picked out an owl to take with us to Hogwarts. We also designed our own wands and came up with wizard names for ourselves, though I can't find pictures of either.

Then we had an airplane making competition and sent our owls soaring.

Of course we had to be sorted into houses. Thankfully we had a sorting hat. And we had several online quizzes to properly place us into the correct house.

 I thought through the possible activities we would do over the summer and figured out how to make them into classes offered at Hogwarts.

For example, that summer we attended Potions (cooking) class. Each child had their own cookbook and was responsible to prepare (with help, depending on the kid) one dinner each week of the summer. This meant lots of planning and cookbook reading.

We studied Herbology by tending our garden.

We took a turn with Care of Magical Creatures by visiting the zoo here in PA.

And spending some personal time with birds at an aquarium while in Utah. I think this is how Harry and his cohorts felt when they met Buckbeak for the first time.

 The living historical farm was a little less traumatic for animal exposure.

We also did Transfiguration (sewing and crafts), like these onesies we painted for my niece.

Astronomy class was easy thanks to the eclipse and a trip to the USS Enterprise in New York City.

History of Magic came in the form of reading the inspiration for the summer, lots and lots and lots of reading.

 

We found ways to tie in our adventures as well. We had a tea party, which is terribly British.

 And we visited a library that even looked like Hogwarts.

We loved our Hogwarts summer and used it as the inspiration for our Halloween costumes that year.

We even kept our Hogwarts chore charts up until the following summer.

If I Fits, I Sits

I snapped this picture as he finished climbing in, thus capturing the moment he realized he didn't want to be there anymore. Don't worry, he was rescued immediately.

Own It

A few mornings ago, during the rush to get ready for school, Sophie sat at the end of my bed and looked at a picture of herself. "Mom," she asked, "do I need to get rid of my birthmark when I'm bigger?"

"No, not if you don't want to, it's your face."

She ran off to do something else at that point and I thought the conversation was over.

Several hours later, while we drove in the car, Sophie made an announcement. "I don't ever want to get rid of my birthmark! I want to keep it, even when I'm a mom!"

I told her I thought that was great. And I really do.

When the Food Stars Align

Sometimes, I'm a genius.

Last night the time for dinner was quickly approaching. I hadn't been able to get to the grocery store this week, so, in spite of my habit of keeping a stocked pantry, we were running low on some kitchen staples. That meant the two plans I'd had in mind for a meal wouldn't work.

I rummaged through the big freezer in the basement and found a bag of breaded chicken tenders that I'd forgotten about. Huzzah, protein found! But what to pair it with? I saw a partial bag of red potatoes and thought roasted red potatoes and onions sounded good, so I carried them back upstairs. It was while walking to the kitchen that I discovered the potatoes were no longer viable as a food source for humans as they had begun feeding another life-form from the fungus family.

Awesome.

Okay, what else goes with chicken tenders? Pasta salad! I had some tomatoes that needed to be used, so I searched the internet for a recipe. Nothing caught my eye. I moved to my collection of cookbooks. Still nothing about pasta salad for the ingredients I had on hand.

Time was ticking away.

I checked the tiny freezer attached to the fridge and found stir fry vegetables. Well, that would probably be weird with the chicken tenders, but I pulled them out anyway.

Back to the cookbooks, I finally found something that I hadn't been looking for, but still looked interesting. And that's when inspiration struck.

I made Pioneer Woman's Simple Sesame Noodles, but I doubled the sauce and cooked a whole pound of noodles instead of just the called for twelve ounces. I also subbed Tabasco sauce because I have never purchased Hot Chili Oil and therefore had none in my kitchen. I used some of the sauce to saute six cups of the stir fry veggies. When they were done, I added them to the now cooked and dressed noodles. Then I cut up several of the hot-from-the-oven chicken tenders and cooked them for a few minutes in the same pan that I'd just pulled the vegetables from, adding some additional sauce.

It was amazing. I thought the breaded chicken would be an odd addition, but it soaked up the sauce and was so good. The purpose of this post is really so that I have a record of this meal and can replicate it again. The kids all loved it and asked that I put it into their lunches for tomorrow.

Did I say I'm a genius sometimes? Well, that may be true, but in this case I think I just got really lucky.

Not the Right Audience

Tonight at cub scouts we invited the 12 and 13-year-old boy scouts to teach our 10-year-olds how to do knots and use pocket knives safely. There were six older boys to the four younger ones. Everyone needed a refresher course on how to tie knots.

I learned something very important tonight: I don't understand teenage boy humor. I need to remember this for the years to come...

Edelweiss

As part of our nightly bedtime routine, each child picks a song for Bryan or I to sing or play. Phoebe likes to stick with Christmas favorites (regardless of what time of year it is) and rotates between Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, Away In a Manger, and Silent Night. Cooper goes for a medley of Hush Little Baby and one verse (it's different each night) of I Am a Child of God. Sophie actually gets several songs because she asks for a playlist I've curated of classical music featured on Little Einsteins. Her favorites are Eine Kleine Nachtmusik by Mozart, Moonlight Sonata by Beethoven, and Peer Gynt Suite No. 1 by Grieg. Peter almost always asks for Edelweiss from The Sound of Music.

I was nearly done singing Peter's song tonight when I registered a few of the words in a way I'd never heard them before. "Blossom of snow may you bloom and grow, bloom and grow forever." Now, the song is talking about a pretty little white flower and the patriarch of the Von Trapp family is wishing for its, and his homeland's, safety.

But suddenly I wasn't singing about a flower. I was singing about a boy born during winter, one that has been uprooted and replanted far too many times. A boy who is growing tall in body and mind and spirit.

I finished the song and I said, " Peter, my hope for you is the same as the singer's hope for the flower in the song. I hope that you bloom and grow forever." And then we talked for just a few minutes about what that means.

That insight was a tender mercy for this mom. And maybe for that not-so-little boy going through a hard time. He has the ability and capacity to bloom and grow and flourish, sometimes despite opposition, and sometimes because of it.

Benched

Our library (my favorite room in the house) had a flaw: there was no place for the board books. We talked about getting a cubby unit from IKEA and turning it into a window seat, but that would be a little too big for the space. So I brainstormed and stared at the two boxes of board books sitting on the floor and searched Pinterest for ideas. It occurred to me that I really just wanted a bench that I could slide nice storage bins under.

And so I built one.

That's right, I built a bench.

I used a couple tutorials as inspiration, this one for the bench and this one for the padded cushion on top. Warning: the first link claims that the project will cost $10. It did not. It was closer to $60 plus an afternoon and evening of my time, and I used fabric I already had (a curtain that doesn't fit any of our windows) to cover it. However, that's not a terrible price for a bench that matches the picture I had in my head. The kids were uber excited about the project and Peter and Phoebe helped screw on the leg plates, which made them feel very handy. I plan to stain the legs at a later date. They are easily removed, so it won't be a big deal. 

After I built it, I tried it out, only to discover it wobbled.

Cue defeated moping.

Bryan looked at it and suggested I reinforce the main board that bent a bit whenever someone sat on it, thus causing it to move. Once we had added some support to the bottom, it was much sturdier.

The kids all like it and Bryan was appropriately impressed. I'm pleased with how it turned out.

One Big Mouse

Remember our trouble with unwanted, furry house guests? We hadn't seen signs of their presence for months. Then, a few weeks ago, I began seeing small brown things on the kitchen counters. I inspected each one carefully and cleaned the area thoroughly, but the items in question didn't look quite right. Still, I took extra precautions to not leave food out and to clean the kitchen each night.

I made cookies today, sort of a "Hooray, school is over!" treat. After I emptied the remnants of a Costco-sized bag of chocolate chips into the dough, I noticed something on the counter. Everywhere I had worked with the chips, there were small brown crumbs, the exact things I had been finding on the counters.

And it was then, with a great sense of relief, that I realized what had happened. We don't have mice running through our kitchen. Nope, we just have a tall ten-year-old who likes to sneak handfuls of chocolate chips when he thinks no one is looking.

I'll take him over a mouse any day.

Busy Baby

Sophie has officially entered the Busy Toddler Stage. Last week I found her standing on the middle of the dining table. Twice. She also found a bin with several boxes of gum and helped herself. When Bryan found her she had six pieces in her mouth. She's so busy, and thus requires so much more supervision, that my productivity level has gone down considerably.

I've been trying to stop my night owl behavior and go to sleep earlier. Tonight when I got home from a meeting at 10pm I seriously considered staying up to work on a project. "I can get a few hours of work done if I start right now. I can stop around midnight and be in bed by 1am." Even as I was thinking it I realized that it was ridiculous, I am so very tired, why would I intentionally stay up crazy late?

And then I realized why I wanted to stay up and work. My Sweet Sophie is asleep right now. That means my very busy girl doesn't need constant surveillance. And that, my friends, means I can get a whole lot more done.

I love that little girl, and I even love her business, but I need to figure out how to get my work done while she's awake. I miss sleep, I'd really like to get more of it.

What Are Your Weekend Plans?

I'll be spending ten hours listening to the divinely inspired leaders of my church, being spiritually strengthened and renewed, and feeling the Holy Ghost. This is one of my favorite weekends of the year.



I invite you to join me. You can watch or listen at these times.

Taming the Jungle

I did something today that I've never done before. I mowed the lawn. Yes, in my thirty-five years previous to today I had never pushed a large, blade wielding machine around my yard.

Bryan's schedule is kind of ridiculous this year so he hadn't been able to cut the grass in the two months we've lived here. I kept watching the lawn get taller and taller. Today I stood looking at it thinking, "Boy, I hope Bryan has time to cut the grass on Saturday." Then another thought interrupted that one, "Wait, I can do it!"

The girls played on the patio with chalk and bikes while I mowed the back lawn, far away from where they were sitting. After a break for lunch and putting Sophie down for a nap, I did the side and the part nearest the patio. After we came home from getting the boys I finished the other side. All told it probably took me three hours to do. I stopped a few times to pull weeds and run from aggressive wasps (we think there's an underground nest in the back of the yard), but otherwise that time was spent mowing.

The lawn looks awesome.

The kids loved being able to play out there without hiking gear.

Bryan was really glad to see it was done.

And I'm so very sore, but at least I've got something to show for the pain.

The War on Stuff

I know that I complained last week that we have too much stuff. Really, I was just feeling overwhelmed with unpacking and murmuring a bit. But today it hit me: we really have too much stuff. An excessive amount of my time is spent taking care of stuff or making sure the kids take care of stuff or shopping for stuff or deciding who needs new stuff.

And I don't want to do that anymore.

So, here is my resolve, laid down in writing. I am getting rid of stuff. I've been doing this for months, but I'm not going to be as sparing as I have been in the past. I do not want our belongings to determine how we spend our time.

And now, I'm going to go fill a bag or two for Goodwill.